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be914

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be914

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  • Number of visits : 539
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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be914's page activity

Visits<b>Liiiiiiiiike</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:31am<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:01am<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 3:56am<b>Kibaruto</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 3:20am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 4:40pm<b>actuallyahippo</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 10:00pm<b>Excalibur1</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 2:35am<b>sabrinalynn22</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 4:52pm<b>Ebola</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 7:52am<b>justlame123</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:53pm<b>TragicDino</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 12:50pm<b>alex1027livi</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 11:50am

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be914's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML

#14549895
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30689) - you deserved it (6006)

On 01/12/2011 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after finally getting a job offer after months of unemployment, I found out that the person who was going to hire me got fired. Which means I'm not getting the job. FML

#14305621
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24202) - you deserved it (1861)

On 12/23/2010 at 1:05am - work - by tjm (man) - United States (New York)

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58095) - you deserved it (10580)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was helping an older lady return her previously bought items to customer service. As she walked away and said "Thanks," I tried to say "You're welcome" and "No problem" at the same time. I ended up saying "Your problem". She scowled at me. FML

#13958781
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19517) - you deserved it (7512)

On 11/24/2010 at 4:52am - work - by romedizzle (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

#13896400
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36761) - you deserved it (12445)

On 11/19/2010 at 2:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

#13788956
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7673) - you deserved it (47691)

On 11/10/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44366) - you deserved it (9763)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I began to take my clothes off when he stopped me. He said that sex is exercise and you can't exercise for 30 minutes after eating. FML

#12463694
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34996) - you deserved it (7710)

On 08/11/2010 at 9:54pm - intimacy - by oumalina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

#12316575
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29629) - you deserved it (33481)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)

Today, while I was at work, I heard one of my employees laughing on the phone. I told him to shut up and get back to work. Turns out he was actually crying because his father had just died. FML

#12251529
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9473) - you deserved it (57071)

On 08/01/2010 at 8:34pm - work - by bloodymatzaball - United States

Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML

#12043060
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30802) - you deserved it (3723)

On 07/22/2010 at 11:10am - misc - by Elliot (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

#11983627
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98000) - you deserved it (5652)

On 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm - love - by betrayed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I've recently gained weight so I bought an exercise video. I started it right away in my room on the top floor. My younger sister screamed and ran outside a few minutes later. She thought it was an earthquake. FML

#11865183
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34300) - you deserved it (9373)

On 07/14/2010 at 12:32am - health - by sarah - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend that my grandma died, expecting to be comforted. She got mad at me for "stealing her thunder" because her cat died two days ago. FML

#11794777
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44742) - you deserved it (3982)

On 07/10/2010 at 4:05pm - love - by thanksalot - United States

Today, while driving on a totally deserted, long, straight road in the middle of the bush, I sneezed and drove right into a pole on the side of the road. It was the only pole for over 50 km. FML

#11610497
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34038) - you deserved it (6990)

On 07/02/2010 at 11:05am - misc - by Mikimiks93 (woman) - South Africa (Limpopo)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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