be914

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Offline (the 12/03/2015 at 1:43pm)

be914

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1157
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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be914's page activity

Visits<b>Liiiiiiiiike</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:31am<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 3:56am<b>Kibaruto</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 3:20am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 4:40pm<b>Excalibur1</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 2:35am<b>sabrinalynn22</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 4:52pm<b>Ebola</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 7:52am<b>justlame123</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:53pm<b>TragicDino</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 12:50pm<b>alex1027livi</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 11:50am

be914's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

be914's favorite FMLs

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, after getting back from my interior design class, I told my husband that I learned the golden rule for home decor: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." He looked at me dead in the eyes, and didn't say a word. FML

by housedoctor / 02/22/2014 at 6:01am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Love

Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2014 at 9:29pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother told her friends that I work as a call girl. I'm a call center agent. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2013 at 5:25pm / Luxembourg / Work

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

by #isthisthepoundkey? / 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, we had a safety meeting at my warehouse job. They had an entire power point based around their message, "Stop getting hurt; it costs the company too much money." FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 10:29am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I took my car to be repaired. The mechanic put out his hand when he saw me, so I shook it. He just wanted my keys. FML

by keyshame / 10/10/2013 at 1:22am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

by NoNotCats =^._.^= / 09/03/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML

by gavinbanks / 07/21/2013 at 6:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm / United Kingdom (Bromley) / Intimacy

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 2:02am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML

by IvyLeague? / 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, after having finally kicked my insomnia's ass after three hours, I was woken up by something I only thought happened in movies. Someone had paid for a Mariachi band to play for their girlfriend, outside my apartment, in the middle of the night. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2012 at 5:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML

by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2012 at 11:53am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous