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bdekker's favorite FMLs
by emirie / 11/14/2013 at 4:33pm / Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/28/2013 at 6:39pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML
by oldshitnewshit / 10/22/2013 at 5:11pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 10/22/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML
by momaaa1342 / 10/20/2013 at 11:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by ShittyProposal / 10/20/2013 at 3:06am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML
by O-|---<=~ / 10/18/2013 at 7:01pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by animal lover... / 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm / Animals
by ihatethisjob / 09/27/2013 at 4:18am / United States (Michigan) / Work
by msmidnight1965 / 09/22/2013 at 1:22pm / Canada / Kids
by hoolagirl4422 / 09/20/2013 at 7:23am / Hong Kong / Love
Today, I waited in the pouring rain for my wife to come pick me up from work. It was only after I was thoroughly drenched that I remembered it was my wife's day off, and that I drove myself to work earlier in her car, which was parked fifty feet from where I was waiting. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2013 at 4:30pm / Transportation
Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML
by Anonymous / 09/14/2013 at 3:32pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Miscellaneous
by Norvi / 09/14/2013 at 1:51am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Health
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, a sweet old man came knocking. He asked about my elderly neighbor who he has been trying to… Today, I went to a grad school fair. Tuition costs more than I make in a year. I'm thirty. I think… Today, I learned that if a friend ever suggests you sleep with her boyfriend, it's probably because…