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bcutrone13

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bcutrone13

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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 190
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bcutrone13's favorite FMLs

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47331) - you deserved it (4879)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

#20571304
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35070) - you deserved it (7599)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40181) - you deserved it (9575)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18421) - you deserved it (38927)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

#20434659
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46528) - you deserved it (7051) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6997) - you deserved it (46670)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

#20080363
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18113) - you deserved it (26575)

On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

#20027548
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37929) - you deserved it (2198)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML

#19701580
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25739) - you deserved it (1641)

On 05/29/2012 at 9:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34114) - you deserved it (4986)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

#18852472
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7891) - you deserved it (46154)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my family took me to a steak house. I went for an eight minute bathroom break, coming back to an empty table. They ordered dessert, and left me the bill. I'm a vegetarian, and it's my birthday. FML

#18446136
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32960) - you deserved it (4178)

On 12/06/2011 at 5:20pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while waiting in line at Gamestop, another customer and the cashier started chatting about how Pokémon is for kids, and anyone over 10 who's into it is weird. Embarrassed, I put the new Pokémon game back on the shelf and snuck out of the store. FML

#17830762
559 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28392) - you deserved it (17107)

On 09/25/2011 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my mother cleans the dishes with bathroom cleaning chemicals. She doesn't see anything wrong with this. FML

#17316744
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29631) - you deserved it (2285)

On 07/31/2011 at 2:18am - misc - by isucksomuch - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML

#17266152
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19791) - you deserved it (2547)

On 07/26/2011 at 10:05am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom



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