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bcooke

Offline (the 12/14/2014 at 3:56pm) | Search for a member

bcooke

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  • Number of visits : 257
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>olpally</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 3:31pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 1:52am<b>junkman6</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 2:58pm

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bcooke's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to go to a big dinner with my insane relatives. Highlights of conversation included my sister telling us about the "country of Iowa", my dad accusing me of faking my chronic fatigue syndrome, and my grandpa claiming that Nelson Mandela is the Antichrist. FML

#20941414
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34540) - you deserved it (2817)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:38pm - misc - by FUCK ME, MAKE IT STOP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML

#20933932
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42993) - you deserved it (6494)

On 10/25/2013 at 9:50pm - animals - by kiwibox - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, because apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML

#20933884
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44920) - you deserved it (4946)

On 10/25/2013 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came across some bubble wrap. Turned out it was a special type of bubble wrap that cannot be popped. FML

#20924315
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47941) - you deserved it (4348)

On 10/17/2013 at 6:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my brother is adamant that if he records silence, then listens to said silence at full volume, it'll improve the headphones' noise-blocking abilities. I live with a complete idiot. FML

#20921378
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37639) - you deserved it (2916)

On 10/15/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Eggs6131 (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I realized how bad my insomnia had got when I tried answering my water bottle when my alarm went off. FML

#20901491
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34604) - you deserved it (2766)

On 09/30/2013 at 1:01am - health - by Overworked - United States

Today, my mother asked me if she could borrow $200. Being the lovely daughter I am, I gave her my bank card to withdraw it herself. She gambled it away and maxed my bank account out. I had $1500 saved. FML

#20892314
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40796) - you deserved it (18546)

On 09/22/2013 at 10:56pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55039) - you deserved it (27646)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was standing in line at the grocery store waiting for my husband. After a while, I feel him kissing my neck, so I turn to tell him that it's not appropriate in public. It wasn't my husband. FML

#20878205
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58355) - you deserved it (4172)

On 09/12/2013 at 10:44am - love - by whyme (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through my birthday card. FML

#20871364
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61461) - you deserved it (3584)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by brycepetrillo - United States (Florida)

Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML

#20868590
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49282) - you deserved it (2669)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:02am - animals - by GotMyBitchBack - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

#20867249
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32967) - you deserved it (10355)

On 09/04/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by interphaseprophasemetaphase (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML

#20844156
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46306) - you deserved it (2647)

On 08/19/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. His reason was that my laugh is really annoying and makes him want to "stick a baby in a blender". FML

#20786622
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45914) - you deserved it (8990)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:32pm - love - by ... cheers (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I was walking down the street and saw a man trip over a sign. He then grabbed his cane, started screaming, and began beating the sign. Apparently that didn't release his anger, so he began to beat the nearest car. I thought it was hilarious, until I noticed it was my car. FML

#20774578
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45012) - you deserved it (9174)

On 07/10/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by mylifesucks - United States (Georgia)



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