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bboymarcus

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  • Number of visits : 232
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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bboymarcus's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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bboymarcus's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48828) - you deserved it (4327)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

#20825004
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43889) - you deserved it (13890)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by ImNotFat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54037) - you deserved it (18149)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60738) - you deserved it (5966)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, I was pretending to talk on the phone with my wife just to avoid to speak with my boring coworker. After two awkward minutes of him waiting in front of my desk and me inventing a call, he handed me the disconnected phone cable and left. FML

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41019) - you deserved it (2957)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML

#20749580
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25314) - you deserved it (45986)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by authorx - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

#20727456
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39992) - you deserved it (3703)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony. FML

#20726036
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61362) - you deserved it (6100)

On 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by bestiality, not even once (woman) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

#20723415
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47553) - you deserved it (3154)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

#20721670
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37542) - you deserved it (68154)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49478) - you deserved it (4953)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31450) - you deserved it (2653)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML

#20451178
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39034) - you deserved it (5373)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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