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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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bberg01

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bberg01
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 410
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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bberg01's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

#12858268 (317)

I agree, your life sucks (21203) - you deserved it (2731)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018 (264)

I agree, your life sucks (31071) - you deserved it (10652)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML

#12817288 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (31859) - you deserved it (9143)

On 08/30/2010 at 3:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

#12316575 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (23684) - you deserved it (23559)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked into Mcdonalds to get a meal. I saw the donation box and felt generous so put some money in. Instead of putting a $5 note I put a $100 note. I asked if they could open it to get it back. They didn't have a key. FML

#8854004 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (6779) - you deserved it (19403)

On 03/05/2010 at 8:55pm - money - by Aboriginal (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

#8612395 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (15498) - you deserved it (2730)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was awakened, in the middle of the night, by the sound of crying coming from outside. There's a mile in between houses where I live. FML

#8546580 (281)

I agree, your life sucks (19216) - you deserved it (1349)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by holycow (man) - United States (California)

Today, my pissed off girlfriend used window marker to write racist comments on my car window. This would include: nazi symbols, white power, and a few others I won't mention. I live in a predominately black neighborhood. FML

#8081301 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (22965) - you deserved it (2667)

On 02/10/2010 at 4:08am - misc - by ... - United States

Today, my husband is completely convinced that his taking a massive dump after being constipated is exactly like the time I gave birth to our twins. FML

#7215962 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (23026) - you deserved it (2892)

On 01/08/2010 at 11:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

#7101810 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (4669) - you deserved it (46204)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:41am - misc - by pissfaced (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was really horny after some dirty texts from my boyfriend. Since everyone seemed to be sleeping, I closed my eyes and started to touch myself. I was really close to climaxing when I opened my eyes and made eye contact with my mother staring at me masturbating. FML

#7020543 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (15711) - you deserved it (6077)

On 12/29/2009 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Rawr (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my neighbor has been watching my husband and I have sex for the 2 years we've been married. He slaps his sausage and smokes 5 cigarettes while he watches. FML

#6656855 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (11343) - you deserved it (3089)

On 12/07/2009 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by niquey62307 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend invited me for dinner to meet his parents. Turns out his stepmother is my gynecologist. FML

#6645484 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (27425) - you deserved it (1646)

On 12/07/2009 at 2:00am - misc - by Twiddle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as a walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

#6472214 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (21372) - you deserved it (5892)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by fartlover (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was watching Pokémon with my daughter when she told me that I reminded her of her favorite Pokémon. Feeling good about it, I asked which one. She pointed to the screen and said "Snorlax!" The fat and lazy one. FML

#6310679 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (21255) - you deserved it (5315)

On 11/15/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by dessaye (woman) - Singapore