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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
2day I Was Home Alone An Heard The Kitchen Tap Turn On. Shockd , I Turnd It Off. It Continuously Kept Turning Itself On So I Set My Video Phone On It To Find Out The Cause. My Cat Has Learnt To Turn It On. I Later Found Said Cat Teaching Another. I Have Three Cats. All My Taps R Like This. FML
Today I was asked by mah neighbor to stop jogging in our neighborhood because he keeps catching his son whacking off while watching me. His son is 28 yeres old and still lives at home. I'm 18. mega FML
Today, Mah Husband Thought It Would Be Acceptable To Watch Breaking Bad On Netflix With Mah 4-year-old In The Room. What Happened To Be The Only Line He Picked Up? "Well Heil Hitler, Bitch!" I Found Out From His Preschool Teacher. Fat FML
Today my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once twice. FML
Today , I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work , when mah pen rolled off and onto the floor . As soon as I bent down to pick it up , a nereby co-worker , who's always hated me , accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him . He actually followed up by reporting me to HR . FML
Today, Mah Husband And I Were Fooling Around, And Things Got Heated. In The Heat Of Things, I Told Him To Tear Mah Panties Off. He Took It Literally And Yanked At Them With All His Might. It's Been Two Hours And I Still Can't Walk Straight. FML
Today, boss suspended me fir laughing too hard at desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilariou email. He was practically smrking as he handed me official warning. FML
Today , at the doctor's , I had lots of papers to fill out so boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them an the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders boyfriend had written , "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML
Today, I Was Getting Intimate With Mah Girlfriend. She Pulled Down Mah Trousers, Saw Mah Poke-ball Boxers, An Absolutely Lost It. I Had To Lie Next To Her In Bed 4 The Next 10 Minutes Hearing Her Howl With Laughter While Crying ( Dickachu, I Choose You! ) FML
Today, at karate, sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
while working as a lifeguard , a kid took a dump in the pool . When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it , another kid promptly stared at me , stood at the shallow end righthere I was standing , pulled down his trunks , and peed on my feet . FML
Friday 27 March 2015