Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (yesterday at 8:52pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2657
  • Number of comments : 200
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About bazookajoey : Hey, how ya doin? My name is Joey. I live in VanCity and I'm an aspiring guitarist. I'm also gay, and if you don't like that you can simply leave my page. Thank you & have a nice day!

bazookajoey's page activity

Visits<b>bubbles5810</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:27am<b>nydiakim</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 2:40am<b>ThatLobster</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 12:57am<b>heroforhirex95</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 2:34am<b>emilyyy_maryyy</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 2:00am<b>brwneyes</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 3:24am<b>Mogo25067</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 7:31pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm<b>bluntapalooza</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:16pm<b>bosfk</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 4:58pm<b>rae_siah_3x</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 3:29pm<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:33pm<b>ausmoss123</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:22pm<b>caleb_adidas</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:08am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:39am<b>PaigeLeeAnn11</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:25am<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:15am<b>Based_Muhmd</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 9:54am

Fucked!<b>heroforhirex95</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 8:34am<b>rae_siah_3x</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 9:29pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 4:40pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:50pm<b>bubbles5810</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 8:50am<b>Chiharo</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 1:36pm<b>MRSwick2525</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 5:20am<b>NickVsHtml</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 11:16pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 1:44am<b>ILikeKoalas</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 11:12am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 5:02pm

bazookajoey's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of bazookajoey's badges

bazookajoey's favorite FMLs

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23653) - you deserved it (3282)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:02am - intimacy - by alison (woman) - United States

Today, we had a long meeting at work about how we are supposed to feel safe, and to come to the managers if we have any problems. I decided to speak up about a coworker that has been harassing me and several others. My manager laughed at me and walked away. FML

Today, our outgoing boss told us about guy who's replacing him, saying he's very nice but very anal about things. Without thinking, I shrugged and said "Anal's not bad." Now everyone's calling me Anal-Girl. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23259) - you deserved it (7525)

On 06/26/2015 at 3:56pm - work - by very analytical (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mother woke me up by putting a beer on my face. After 15 minutes of her telling me to "just take a sip" and me rejecting it, I finally did just to shut her up. She then yelled at me for giving in to "peer pressure". FML


I agree, your life sucks (26352) - you deserved it (2457)

On 06/26/2015 at 12:38pm - misc - by Good Parenting? - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26060) - you deserved it (2055)

On 06/17/2015 at 3:42am - love - by canessadawn - United States (Oregon)

Today, I arrived at the salon to get my hair done for prom. The lady at the front desk insisted I didn't have an appointment. After looking back on my recent calls, it turned out I called the wrong number and whatever asshole was on the other line played along. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28052) - you deserved it (3785)

On 06/11/2015 at 7:14pm - misc - by Badhairday - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30829) - you deserved it (5503)

On 06/06/2015 at 10:37am - love - by sad and hungry (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML


I agree, your life sucks (30273) - you deserved it (3301)

On 06/04/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24581) - you deserved it (4898)

On 06/03/2015 at 9:59pm - work - by officeditz - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28442) - you deserved it (3211)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28261) - you deserved it (3124)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:07am - intimacy - by someoneneedsassistance - United States (Virginia)

Today, I fell asleep in class... And woke up hour later. My teacher let me sit there till I woke up to see what my face would be like waking up to a new class. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25833) - you deserved it (16326)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:27am - misc - by BERNDTOAST - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got the earlier bus to avoid my ex after a painful breakup. He had the same idea. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34464) - you deserved it (3718)

On 03/09/2015 at 3:52am - love - by sadex -

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML


I agree, your life sucks (44448) - you deserved it (4026)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: