Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bazingabitches

Search for a member

bazingabitches

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3713
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About bazingabitches : Hey! I'm just a regular girl, I like hetalia and black butler and big bang theory. I'm a major Harry potter nerd/band nerd. Bassoon for the win! :) I'm a condescending bitch, but I don't mean to be, so if I offend you I apologize. If you want to know anything else message me! I don't bite.... Maybe.

bazingabitches's page activity

Visits<b>BritSkits</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:35am<b>TanzWolf</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:53am<b>arthlove</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 9:42pm<b>cokeman666</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 9:53pm<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 7:46pm<b>Kaylea816</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 10:09pm<b>SmokeyBear420</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 1:49am<b>nicky_8017</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 8:36pm<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 2:58pm<b>xthundergoat</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 12:18pm<b>demoncrow</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 8:38pm<b>taintedhands</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 11:07am<b>ThriceWritten</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 7:37am<b>lildiva4life</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 2:31am<b>trosie2</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 9:58pm<b>theeccentric</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 7:22pm<b>damcquil</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 7:12pm<b>bmon</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 4:27pm

bazingabitches's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of bazingabitches's badges

bazingabitches's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54012) - you deserved it (18139)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and my eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stopped, and I was thrilled because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stopped to order a cheeseburger. FML

#20823062
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55342) - you deserved it (4313)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:11am - health - by mcdonalds - United States

Today, I came home a little earlier than usual, only to walk in on my dad frantically trying to remove a ballgag from my mom's mouth. FML

#20822450
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50790) - you deserved it (4827)

On 08/05/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by NO NO NO (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML

#20822322
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43162) - you deserved it (6122)

On 08/05/2013 at 4:21pm - animals - by traumatizedforlife (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that it's been well over a month since my boyfriend has even tried to have sex with me. The last time was our first time, and because he couldn't keep it up, he's too humiliated to accept any of my advances. FML

#20822176
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49493) - you deserved it (6187)

On 08/05/2013 at 2:33pm - intimacy - by Sexless4Life (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML

#20822120
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51251) - you deserved it (14534)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67114) - you deserved it (8846)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML

#20820394
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42672) - you deserved it (4228)

On 08/04/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by newbffswelcome (man) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML

#20819263
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43056) - you deserved it (6526)

On 08/03/2013 at 8:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML

#20815079
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43256) - you deserved it (5140)

On 08/01/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by fuckoffgran (woman) - Ireland

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

#20814794
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67287) - you deserved it (5802)

On 08/01/2013 at 3:36am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

#20814697
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58259) - you deserved it (10376)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by father of the year - United States

Today, I was told that I have to apply to keep the job that I've held for the past two years. There are so many other applicants that it's basically a free-for-all. FML

#20813366
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41448) - you deserved it (3010)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:47pm - work - by TheStressComesFree (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: