bazingabitches

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bazingabitches

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10796
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About bazingabitches : Hey! I'm just a regular girl, I like hetalia and black butler and big bang theory. I'm a major Harry potter nerd/band nerd. Bassoon for the win! :) I'm a condescending bitch, but I don't mean to be, so if I offend you I apologize. If you want to know anything else message me! I don't bite.... Maybe.

bazingabitches's page activity

Visits<b>gms0113</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 9:28am<b>Baron_Kaz</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 9:15pm<b>jasonm27</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:58pm<b>munuxi</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 5:20pm<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 8:20pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 8:56am<b>waffleeater_153</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 1:25pm<b>ksadhera</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 5:16am<b>cokeman666</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 6:39am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 10:45am<b>BritSkits</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:35am<b>TanzWolf</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:53am<b>arthlove</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 9:42pm<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 7:46pm<b>Kaylea816</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 10:09pm<b>SmokeyBear420</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 1:49am<b>nicky_8017</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 8:36pm<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 2:58pm

Fucked!<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 2:21am

bazingabitches's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of bazingabitches's badges

bazingabitches's favorite FMLs

Today, while working out in the gym, I spotted a very attractive girl. I decided to pick up the heaviest dumbbell to show off how much I could curl. She ended up driving me to the hospital because I burst into tears after tearing up my bicep and deltoid. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2013 at 12:24am / United States / Health

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, this weird kid in class asked me on a date. He claims to be a werewolf. His excuse for not being able to turn into one? A "rare disease." His excuse for everyone rejecting him? "Friend-zoning bitches." I was the last resort even for a jackoff "nice guy" werewolf. FML

by WHAT A NICE GUY YOU ARE, SIR SHITSPAWN!!!1! / 08/09/2013 at 6:13pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

by JuggaloSlasher15 / 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

by fuck my arse / 08/08/2013 at 6:15pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Intimacy

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've had the biggest crush on. He spent the next ten minutes calling me delusional, said that I know nothing about him, and laughed that "this isn't Twilight, for fuck's sake". All he did when I started crying was pat me on the head and leave. FML

by names suck and so do I / 08/08/2013 at 8:54am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Love

Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2013 at 11:46am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

by ImNotFat / 08/07/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

by Blood on my hands / 08/07/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Animals

Today, I was leaving my friends' apartment in my mom's car and I backed into a fire hydrant. I lied and told my mom it was a hit and run. So she called the apartment complex. They had me on video hitting the fire hydrant. FML

by why me?? / 08/07/2013 at 12:21am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd ask his dad if it was okay. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "come on, dad" and "but why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML

by (._. ) / 08/06/2013 at 4:35pm / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, the window cleaner did his rounds at my house. I sat at my mirror applying makeup and doing my hair. When he came to my window, he yelled rather loudly, "Stop putting on a show for me, you dirty slut!" FML

by stillembarrassed / 08/06/2013 at 1:01pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2013 at 11:19am / United States (Arkansas) / Kids

Today, I dragged myself to work, suffering from a bad cold. My boss quietly told me to go home and rest, to avoid spreading it around the office. I thought it odd since he dislikes me so much, but I did as he said. He called later in the day to suspend me for leaving work early. FML

by Nick / 08/06/2013 at 10:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Health