Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bazingabitches

Search for a member

bazingabitches
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2656
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About bazingabitches : Hey! I'm just a regular girl, I like hetalia and black butler and big bang theory. I'm a major Harry potter nerd/band nerd. Bassoon for the win! :) I'm a condescending bitch, but I don't mean to be, so if I offend you I apologize. If you want to know anything else message me! I don't bite.... Maybe.

bazingabitches's last visitors

KatiekhalifaSmokeyBear420xthundergoatThriceWrittenlildiva4lifetrosie2

bazingabitches's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of bazingabitches's badges

bazingabitches's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to Britney's concert. About halfway through the show, the person next to me turns to me and asks, "Can you do me a favour?" Thinking that she wanted me to look after her stuff, I said sure. Her next sentence was: "Can you stop singing?" FML

#911681
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30448) - you deserved it (38067)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

#896114
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (201225) - you deserved it (19791)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)

Today, I had to watch my neighbor's daughter for 10 hours. She wouldn't eat anything I had to offer, so I ordered a pizza for $19 + a $5 tip = $24. Her father came by to pick her up, thanked me, and gave me a $20 bill. I effectively just paid to watch his kid. FML

#889359
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50411) - you deserved it (17050)

On 04/09/2009 at 5:51pm - kids - by Liz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was the first one to wear the ugly corporate shirts we received. The people in my office-all of them guys were all saying that it looked a lot better than they thought it would. Later that day I went to the toilet and saw the shirt gapes open in front and you could see my boobs. FML

#882565
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38615) - you deserved it (15379)

On 04/09/2009 at 4:44am - work - by Uglyshirts (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was the first one to wear the ugly corporate shirts we received. The people in my office-all of them guys were all saying that it looked a lot better than they thought it would. Later that day I went to the toilet and saw the shirt gapes open in front and you could see my boobs. FML

#882565
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38615) - you deserved it (15379)

On 04/09/2009 at 4:44am - work - by Uglyshirts (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was the first one to wear the ugly corporate shirts we received. The people in my office-all of them guys were all saying that it looked a lot better than they thought it would. Later that day I went to the toilet and saw the shirt gapes open in front and you could see my boobs. FML

#882565
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38615) - you deserved it (15379)

On 04/09/2009 at 4:44am - work - by Uglyshirts (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my step-mother threw a surprise party on my acceptance to college. People kept telling me how delightfully shocked and happy they are for me. "UPenn" was written everywhere, when I really got into Penn State. Everyone thinks I'm going to an Ivy League. FML

#881637
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49457) - you deserved it (4448)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by LindsayK (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML

#880527
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15576) - you deserved it (64353)

On 04/09/2009 at 1:04am - love - by skmusic (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while teaching my kindergarten class, I had a feeling I was starting my period again. A boy in the class asked me what a period was. Stressing over my own, I briefly told him it's a woman's time of the month when they have mood swings. He was asking about the dot at the end of a sentence. FML

#880464
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40127) - you deserved it (33934)

On 04/09/2009 at 12:53am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

#877965
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58759) - you deserved it (8848)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister told my mother how she saw our neighbour's son at the movies with a girl and that they were kissing. My mother said that any girl willing to date someone so ugly must have self esteem issues and they laughed. I'm his girlfriend, my sister didn't recognize me. FML

#877669
110 comments

Today, while getting my hair done, I was annoyed that the beautician was not paying attention while straightening my hair. After asking her three times to watch what she was doing, I grabbed the iron and said "let me do it, you're going to burn me!". I then burned two layers of skin off my ear. FML

#865761
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7946) - you deserved it (98178)

On 04/08/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by jerkgirl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was at a window seat on a bus full of people when I saw a person lying motionless in a gutter. I jumped up, nearly hysterical, screaming for the driver to stop because there was a guy really hurt on the road. An emergency stop and huge commotion ensued. It turned out to be some garbage. FML

Today, my daughter ran up to a librarian working in the kids section and screamed "MOMMY!" and hugged her. She looked at her and said "I'm not your mommy." My daughters reply: "I know. But you're better than mommy" FML

#849178
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70044) - you deserved it (6959)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:32am - work - by Windstar (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

#849037
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53502) - you deserved it (8645)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: