Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bayles313

Online | Search for a member

bayles313

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 March 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 186
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About bayles313 : Go 49ers!

bayles313's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of bayles313's badges

bayles313's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41480) - you deserved it (3380)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

#21238336
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19852) - you deserved it (37514)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm - money - by thoughthewasjoking (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53160) - you deserved it (4548)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55574) - you deserved it (18301)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, the only person in my entire family to show up sober and on time to my graduation was my grandma. FML

#21150544
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48425) - you deserved it (3910)

On 05/24/2014 at 7:57pm - misc - by Congrats to me - United States (Ohio)

Today, at my job at a fast-food restaurant, I once again got called into the men's bathroom to break up sex between two homeless people. FML

#21145062
193 comments

Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML

#20849955
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37673) - you deserved it (3284)

On 08/22/2013 at 9:38pm - misc - by thanksad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to convince my dad that text lingo causes brain damage just to try to get him to stop. He actually believed me, and is telling everyone they have, or will receive brain damage soon. FML

#20504918
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11983) - you deserved it (27076)

On 02/13/2013 at 11:45am - misc - by oh my dad - United States (Kentucky)

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15904) - you deserved it (29362)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to cancel my wedding because my fiancé is so hungover from his bachelor party, he's throwing up all over the place, can't stand up straight and is calling me by the stripper's name he met yesterday night. FML

#13273725
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43945) - you deserved it (4820)

On 10/01/2010 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was recovering from an operation. After I felt better, I checked my phone. There were 35 missed calls and angry text messages from my boyfriend asking why I wasn't at his house to cook his dinner. FML

#13017845
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39446) - you deserved it (6195)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:02am - love - by mrsfantastic - United Kingdom

Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML

#8911500
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28002) - you deserved it (3867)

On 03/08/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by raidered - United States (California)

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

#7490494
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69699) - you deserved it (4516)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:02am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: