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batwomen's favorite FMLs
by Mom / 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
Today, after fifth block, I decided to go for a little walk. Apparently so did my boyfriend and best friend. I found them together under the stairs with her head in his crotch. She said she was looking for her contacts. His pants were pulled down. FML
by levi69 / 05/18/2011 at 12:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Monika / 05/05/2011 at 5:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
by rowie1311 / 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek
Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML
by vlcardenx3 / 03/12/2011 at 4:11pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by unexpected_failure / 11/22/2010 at 1:35pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Miscellaneous
Today, was my uncle's funeral. He was cremated, and his wish was to have his ashes spread into the sea. As we were waiting for the waves to come and take him away, a group of seagulls came by picking at all his ashes. I guess he tasted good. FML
by SeagullsShouldDie / 08/28/2010 at 2:07am / United States / Animals
by anonymous / 03/09/2010 at 1:43am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by DOGSNACHER / 12/28/2009 at 10:43pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, after buying the plane ticket to Glendale, CA to visit 17 year old Courtney who I met on a dating website, she called me for the first time to say that she was actually 19 year old Seth from Atlanta, GA. FML
by gabe8 / 06/15/2009 at 1:42am / Mexico (Nuevo Leon) / Love
Today, I was at my friends birthday party, dancing bare foot because my feet hurt from the heels. Apparently, someone dropped a glass on the dancefloor and didn't warn anybody. I ended up having to drive myself to the emergency room because all my friends were "having too much fun to leave." FML
by not-so-happy-feet / 06/14/2009 at 7:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by veggiegal / 02/13/2009 at 9:45am / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
- Today, while deleting my ex-fiancée's account off my computer, I saved her pics. I found one of her… Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned… Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in…