batwomen

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batwomen

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 824
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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batwomen's page activity

Visits<b>BonerFart</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 7:24pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 9:27am<b>FranzFerdinand</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 11:26pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 5:28pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 11:38pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:16pm<b>Checker</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 1:20am<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 6:38pm<b>RabbidIbanez</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 4:03am<b>fmlgiraffe</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 11:00pm<b>lord_meloetta</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 11:33am<b>nubbles10</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm<b>auzieforever705</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 7:04pm<b>MyUsernameKatie</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 12:38am<b>Thejackel79</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 8:16am<b>BananaTheHannah</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 1:25pm<b>kidrager</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 3:04pm<b>sarbear11753</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 1:26am

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batwomen's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

by habbsrule / 06/15/2012 at 10:21am / Canada / Kids

Today, I found out that my wife and two teenage daughters' periods are all one week after the other. I am living in hell almost every single day. FML

by anonymous / 06/14/2012 at 10:54am / China (Jiangsu) / Health

Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML

by ouch / 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, I talked to my father for the first time in several years. I proudly told him that I have been attending Beauty School. He looked me up and down and said, "Doesn't look like you've learned much." FML

by beautyschool22 / 06/11/2012 at 7:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML

by Kevin / 02/13/2012 at 1:00am / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

by thankzbabe / 01/04/2012 at 7:32am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML

by snarly1 / 12/06/2011 at 3:57am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my parents took me on a plane ride for a vacation in Hong Kong. What they didn't tell me was that the "vacation" is extended for three years. FML

by xxxkkxxx / 07/29/2011 at 11:37am / Hong Kong / Holidays

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

by Username / 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous