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Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44820) - you deserved it (2387)
On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18275) - you deserved it (21516)
On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore
Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off and learned that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11323) - you deserved it (45724)
On 08/25/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by damnit (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I had my friend Mark over for dinner. My Dad asked him what his dad did for a living. We all squirmed a bit when he told us that his dad died last year. We all went about finishing our meal when suddenly my dad says: "I'm sorry, Mark, what did you say your dad did for a living again?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43660) - you deserved it (1985)
On 08/25/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by youzabadgirl12 - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I had a double wedding with my sister. My mother, being as encouraging as she always is, told us that statistics say one of our marriages will end in divorce. She then explained she thinks it'll be mine because I'm 'a self-absorbed bitch'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32509) - you deserved it (6422)
On 08/24/2009 at 7:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Constanta)
Today, my son hit my husband's shop-vac while pulling into the garage too fast. He was grounded for 3 days. Later, while trying to demonstrate how to park safely, I hit my husband in his happy sacks with the mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5801) - you deserved it (25260)
On 08/23/2009 at 7:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that the crumbs on the couch that look like the oreos you just ate, can actually turn out to be very crunchy, and have legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7873) - you deserved it (35415)
On 08/22/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year olds do at midnight? FML
I agree, your life sucks (37083) - you deserved it (16919)
On 08/22/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by urmommmm (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my family bet me $20 to wear a Disney Princess hat for the entire day around a theme park. I am 17 years old. We decided to go for lunch in one of the restaurants. After we finished, a woman gave my parents a leaflet on how to cope with disabled children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27431) - you deserved it (7017)
On 08/21/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by Becky (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)
Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51085) - you deserved it (2550)
On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14688) - you deserved it (34389)
On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7075) - you deserved it (46038)
On 08/20/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth and laughed before she passed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52971) - you deserved it (3139)
On 08/19/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I farted while I was in line at the bank. I tried to pretend it wasn't me by looking at the man behind me and turning back with a disgusted look on my face. I thought I had gotten away with it when the man yells "It wasn't me, this bitch did it". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6115) - you deserved it (72780)
On 08/19/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by moutz (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38665) - you deserved it (3475)
On 08/19/2009 at 6:32am - misc - by Dude (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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