Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bassoonist527

Search for a member

bassoonist527

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 May 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 484
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About bassoonist527 : I'm cool.

bassoonist527's page activity

Visits<b>PePziNL</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 9:57pm<b>IAMTHEJEWBOY</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 11:40am<b>gingerJ</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:48am<b>jml7999</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 7:08pm<b>diving</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 10:37am<b>UnoriGal</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 7:15pm<b>guitardude69</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 4:27pm<b>OblivionSix</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 1:37pm

bassoonist527's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

bassoonist527's favorite FMLs

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46125) - you deserved it (8606)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend cheated on me. But he justified it by saying she was a ginger. FML

#17738914
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34894) - you deserved it (4329)

On 09/13/2011 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after being terrified for years, I went on a plane for the first time. It was also the first time I "emergency landed." FML

#17291466
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35549) - you deserved it (2923)

On 07/28/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by Alyssa Charlotte - Mexico

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

#17128085
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38559) - you deserved it (8852)

On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19727) - you deserved it (39575)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

#15075987
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51046) - you deserved it (4615)

On 02/22/2011 at 7:25am - misc - by no name -

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34766) - you deserved it (21490) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, our class was focusing on discrimination, and our teacher asked us if anyone had ever felt discriminated against. I put my hand up to share a story, and my teacher immediately said "It's because you're ginger, isn't it?" That's not what I was going to say. FML

#13688243
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43572) - you deserved it (7478)

On 11/02/2010 at 1:43pm - misc - by gingerninja (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

#7225857
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21805) - you deserved it (5625)

On 01/08/2010 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (185206) - you deserved it (9583)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that "Je suis excité" does not mean "I'm excited" in French. It means "I'm sexually excited"... more or less. I've been doing a lot of exciting things and using it a lot the past two weeks. With my French friends, people I meet, and especially with my host family. FML

#5391347
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35883) - you deserved it (13827)

On 09/21/2009 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124643) - you deserved it (9477)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, was teacher appreciation day at my school. They played a slideshow of all the teachers. The students cheered wildly for every teacher. When my picture came up, nobody clapped. The whole room was quiet. FML

#2693631
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58175) - you deserved it (26051)

On 06/07/2009 at 3:21pm - kids - by Ignatius (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML

#2485875
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43681) - you deserved it (37935)

On 05/31/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by bluehairedfreakgirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: