basketballdude07

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basketballdude07

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1437
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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basketballdude07's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad nearly had a head-on collision with another car, but I grabbed the wheel at the last second, potentially saving both our lives. He spent the rest of the car trip pissed at me because I'd "interfered" with his driving. FML

by laurlaur / 08/05/2011 at 5:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

by Yoda / 07/08/2011 at 1:23am / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 2:12am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I asked my kids if I looked good before going to work. Smiling, they told me I looked wonderful. It wasn't until I got to work and looked into the mirror until I noticed my left eyebrow was gone. FML

by tb351 / 05/28/2011 at 7:37pm / United States / Kids

Today, I drove my boyfriend to hospital because he felt extremely ill. His buddies had gotten their hands on a taser, and he had the brilliant idea of being shot as part of a Youtube stunt video. Now I have an empty gas tank and have to clean up a puddle of vomit in my living room. FML

by moron / 05/27/2011 at 8:04pm / United States / Health

Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML

by nipman / 04/25/2011 at 3:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML

by embarassed / 04/20/2011 at 11:24pm / United States / Health

Today, I caught my boyfriend secretly using my hair straightener while I was in the other room. Too embarrassed to talk to him about it, I left and came back later, only to discover him slipping on a pair of my panties. FML

by WTF? / 04/01/2011 at 11:55am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, I was trying to help a very slow-witted client over the phone. After a while, I realised he was just delaying while pleasuring himself to the sound of my voice. FML

by Milly / 01/30/2011 at 2:25pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML

by knickersdontfit / 01/26/2011 at 12:44pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML

by ash / 01/14/2011 at 1:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, feeling melancholy, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2011 at 9:45pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML

by ihateteenagers / 12/29/2010 at 9:12pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

by Jessie / 12/25/2010 at 8:38am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy