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basketballdude07

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basketballdude07

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  • Number of visits : 601
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basketballdude07's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad nearly had a head-on collision with another car, but I grabbed the wheel at the last second, potentially saving both our lives. He spent the rest of the car trip pissed at me because I'd "interfered" with his driving. FML

#17379792
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29439) - you deserved it (2485)

On 08/05/2011 at 5:47pm - health - by laurlaur - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36033) - you deserved it (4348)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38805) - you deserved it (15607)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I asked my kids if I looked good before going to work. Smiling, they told me I looked wonderful. It wasn't until I got to work and looked into the mirror until I noticed my left eyebrow was gone. FML

#16391580
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33099) - you deserved it (7576)

On 05/28/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by tb351 - United States

Today, I drove my boyfriend to hospital because he felt extremely ill. His buddies had gotten their hands on a taser, and he had the brilliant idea of being shot as part of a Youtube stunt video. Now I have an empty gas tank and have to clean up a puddle of vomit in my living room. FML

#16377162
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26357) - you deserved it (3290)

On 05/27/2011 at 8:04pm - misc - by moron - United States

Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML

#15920978
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35585) - you deserved it (3427)

On 04/25/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by nipman - United States

Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML

#15867292
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28516) - you deserved it (11601)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:24pm - misc - by embarassed (woman) - United States

Today, I caught my boyfriend secretly using my hair straightener while I was in the other room. Too embarrassed to talk to him about it, I left and came back later, only to discover him slipping on a pair of my panties. FML

#15588696
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46091) - you deserved it (7502)

On 04/01/2011 at 11:55am - misc - by WTF? - United Kingdom (London)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37153) - you deserved it (31498)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I was trying to help a very slow-witted client over the phone. After a while, I realised he was just delaying while pleasuring himself to the sound of my voice. FML

#14775233
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32794) - you deserved it (3591)

On 01/30/2011 at 2:25pm - intimacy - by Milly (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML

#14719837
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23483) - you deserved it (7260)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:44pm - misc - by knickersdontfit (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML

#14577933
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30411) - you deserved it (14336)

On 01/14/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by ash (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, feeling melancholy, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

#14490240
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28962) - you deserved it (5680)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML

#14386924
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43987) - you deserved it (8931)

On 12/29/2010 at 9:12pm - misc - by ihateteenagers (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

#14333152
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41804) - you deserved it (8755)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)



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