basketballdude07

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basketballdude07

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  • Number of visits : 1927
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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basketballdude07's favorite FMLs

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

by Targeted / 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

by Obi1Shinobi / 10/30/2012 at 10:27am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

by radioinvader / 10/28/2012 at 8:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

by fionnathehuman / 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm / United States / Kids

Today, I found out that my mom gives my brother tips on how to hurt my feelings the most. FML

by LovedByFamily / 10/08/2012 at 11:08am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML

by Jex / 10/06/2012 at 6:04am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

by BabyG2222 / 09/29/2012 at 5:14am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

by disgusted / 09/24/2012 at 3:16pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. My dad noticed my depression and got me to tell him what was wrong. I told him everything, and trusting him to have an intelligent suggestion, I asked him what I should do. He shrugged and said, "Fuck, sue him, I dunno." FML

by Pissed / 09/21/2012 at 7:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

by Amberain / 08/16/2012 at 11:16am / United Kingdom (Halton) / Love

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

by Amberain / 08/16/2012 at 11:16am / United Kingdom (Halton) / Love

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

by Oh dear / 07/05/2012 at 6:15pm / Saint Vincent and the Grenadines (Saint George) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

by habbsrule / 06/15/2012 at 10:21am / Canada / Kids

Today, I was having a debate with my friend, who actually believes karma is real. He got very angry with me and stormed off, tripping over his own feet in the process. I laughed and asked what he'd done in a past life to deserve that one. He responded by getting up and punching me. FML

by sh3n-D / 06/07/2012 at 5:26pm / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Health