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Taday I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. mega FML
Taday my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walkd into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, coverd in ketchup. She laughedhen I began to scream. FML
Taday when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door . I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child , and I can't bring myself to walk past it . It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside . I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving .
TODAY, I WAS CLEANING ONE OF MAH DISABLED CLIENTS BECAUSE HE POOPED HIMSELF, SO I STARTED TO UNDRESS HIM FIR A SHOWER. I TOOK HIS DIRTY DIAPER OFF AND SET IT ON HIS BED, THEN I BENT OVER TO TAKE OFF HIS SOCKS AT WHICH POINT HE PUT THE DIAPER ON MAH HEAD LYK A HAT. FML
Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in mah armpit an a sprained ankle both on mah right side, resulting in looool me limping an keeping mah arm awkwardly plastered to mah side !! My fiancé keeps walking like me an calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something !! mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015