Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

barreiroj

Search for a member

barreiroj

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 763
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

barreiroj's page activity

Visits<b>nickn426</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 12:19pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 2:23pm<b>eezila</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 1:27pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 6:56pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 1:29pm<b>kelsorg</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 10:50am<b>Juicenub</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 12:14pm<b>Kar0</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 6:34pm<b>PewDiePie_Lover</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 12:21am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 11:34am<b>TheManInWhiteXx</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 12:35am<b>Lang88</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 10:28am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 6:41pm<b>KatyLarae</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 12:48am<b>theHIGHroad2</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 11:53am<b>aa1717</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 10:36am<b>inner_peace</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 9:07pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 5:28pm

barreiroj's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of barreiroj's badges

barreiroj's favorite FMLs

Today, after arriving home from work I found that my dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49292) - you deserved it (9276)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, I overheard my mum tell my sister that she should make me a bridesmaid at her wedding. My sister scoffed, "She looks like Shamu, mum. I can't have THAT in my wedding pics." followed by laughter and my mum saying, "Touché." FML

#21031087
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48613) - you deserved it (6157)

On 01/17/2014 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

#21030923
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40032) - you deserved it (7700)

On 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm - health - by sausages (man) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML

#21030771
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42805) - you deserved it (3943)

On 01/17/2014 at 11:24am - health - by crap - United States (Ohio)

Today, my younger brother asked if he could watch me put a tampon in. He's 17. FML

#21029617
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62878) - you deserved it (5966)

On 01/16/2014 at 8:37am - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

#21028396
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55928) - you deserved it (13756)

On 01/15/2014 at 12:54am - intimacy - by jseid2 - United States (California)

Today, I found out that whenever my ex-wife is late getting the kids to school, she tells them to tell their teachers they were with me, and forges my name on the sign-in sheet. Missing homework? Dad's house. Forgot to bring something important? Ditto. The school thinks I'm a horrible parent. FML

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

#21026318
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21767) - you deserved it (48459)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53053) - you deserved it (32310)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21025933
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31694) - you deserved it (39294)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML

#21025608
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47174) - you deserved it (4009)

On 01/12/2014 at 2:06pm - misc - by shakinmahbuttbutt (man) - United States

Today, my wife told my 7-year-old son that he looks just like me. He began crying and said, "I don't want to be ugly like him." FML

#21025291
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49118) - you deserved it (4442)

On 01/12/2014 at 3:03am - kids - by -_- - United States

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55955) - you deserved it (5626)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: