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Today I decided to dye my hair blue. The result is slightly different than I expected: my white bathroom is now blue and so r my skin and nails. The only thing that isn't blue is my hair which is now green. FML
Today.. . mah husband and I r sick . He keeps whining about how bad he feels . I'm just as sick.. . as well as 7 months pregnant . I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked.. . cleaned.. . and gone to the store several times cuz the tissues we had were too rough on his nose . FML
Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk . She got up, cummed into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games . I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left . She doesn't remember a thing . FML
Today, ma grlfriend told me te reason wy ma credit card mysteriously maxd out 2 mont ago 'migt ave been' because se postd a picture of it on Facebook. I orderd a new credit card witout te custom picture of us immediately. Se broke up wit me. FML
Today, mah plans for having sex with mah girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by mah own mother. I found out later that she's been looool reading mah texts so she knew when to drop by an ruin everything. FML
Today I Had A Big Final Projact Dua For Class. Nona Of Mah Projact Partnars Would Halp Ma Yastarday Cuz Thay Wara Convincad Wa'd Hava A Snow Day. Unfortunataly Wa Didn't Hava A Snow Day An Wa Failad. FML
Today my brother asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick!! I stupidly said yes an now have a black eye fromhere he punched me!! My dad thinks it's hilarious an my mum says he didn't know any better!! He's 13!! FML
Today, my mom made me go shopping with her . It was freezing out, but she didn't wear a coat, boasting that she doesn't feel the chill like I do . By the time we drove home she washining about freezing to death, an now I'm stuck in a househose heating is set to "inferno" . FML
Today, I went to an important job interview. I was really anxious but trid to soldier on anyway. When I was calld in, my nerves got so bad that I revertd to speaking my second language. Not frst, second. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting the job. mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015