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barreiroj

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barreiroj
  • Town/Country : Trapped in the internet, Stuck in a black hole
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 181
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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barreiroj's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents left early in the morning to run some errands, and I thought it would be nice to shovel our rather large driveway for them while they were out. An hour later, they returned from the store with a snow blower. FML

#21032937
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45535) - you deserved it (5004)

On 01/19/2014 at 3:35pm - misc - by fail (man) - United States

Today, after spending the night out with her friends to celebrate her birthday, my girlfriend paid me a surprise visit at home, only to find women's lingerie on my bed. She wouldn't believe they were gifts for her, even though they still had the tags on them. FML

#21032861
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43857) - you deserved it (4038)

On 01/19/2014 at 2:12pm - love - by .... (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was told I looked like Beaker from the Muppets. After doing a side-by-side comparison, I realized it's true. FML

#21032010
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36293) - you deserved it (3756)

On 01/18/2014 at 6:09pm - misc - by cjgreer70 - United States (Oregon)

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

#21031998
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30278) - you deserved it (51079)

On 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

#21031501
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43899) - you deserved it (6077)

On 01/18/2014 at 4:45am - kids - by FattestUgliestPerson (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, after arriving home from work I found that my dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47292) - you deserved it (8639)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, I overheard my mum tell my sister that she should make me a bridesmaid at her wedding. My sister scoffed, "She looks like Shamu, mum. I can't have THAT in my wedding pics." followed by laughter and my mum saying, "Touché." FML

#21031087
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46974) - you deserved it (5935)

On 01/17/2014 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

#21030923
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38856) - you deserved it (7502)

On 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm - health - by sausages (man) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML

#21030771
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41813) - you deserved it (3842)

On 01/17/2014 at 11:24am - health - by crap - United States (Ohio)

Today, my younger brother asked if he could watch me put a tampon in. He's 17. FML

#21029617
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57443) - you deserved it (4753)

On 01/16/2014 at 8:37am - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

#21028396
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50649) - you deserved it (11279)

On 01/15/2014 at 12:54am - intimacy - by jseid2 - United States (California)

Today, I found out that whenever my ex-wife is late getting the kids to school, she tells them to tell their teachers they were with me, and forges my name on the sign-in sheet. Missing homework? Dad's house. Forgot to bring something important? Ditto. The school thinks I'm a horrible parent. FML

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

#21026318
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21348) - you deserved it (47512)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)



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