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barreiroj's favorite FMLs
by limping / 01/24/2014 at 6:10pm / Canada / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 4:02pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Miscellaneous
by Profucktardor / 01/24/2014 at 3:33pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom asked me when I'm going to propose to my girlfriend. Not only was she in the room at the time, I've spent the whole week thinking of ways to break up with her without ending up in the hospital. 5ML
by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 10:11am / United States / Love
by MH / 01/24/2014 at 7:36am / Norway (Rogaland) / Love
Today, I noticed my laptop kept shutting down and the mouse cursor was all over the place, clicking on every folder. I dismantled the entire computer only to notice something in one of my USB drives: the receiver to a wireless mouse my colleague put there earlier to play a prank on me. 5ML
by Kenny / 01/24/2014 at 2:16am / Nigeria (Lagos) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 12:32am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Estee1024 / 01/24/2014 at 12:28am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." 5ML
by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend was spending the day at my place. Later on, I walked in while she was making lunch. She had a jar of mayo in her hand, and I joked, "I have some mayo, but it doesn't come from a jar." She had a bluetooth headset on, and was in a call with her father. 5ML
by Anonymous / 01/23/2014 at 7:10pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
Today, I went to my first ever job interview. I thought I was doing well, until the recruiter asked why he should hire me. The only thing I could say was "Because I'm really, really nervous right now?" FML
by bebooneo / 01/23/2014 at 5:16pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML
by Anonymous / 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by fappy dog / 01/23/2014 at 4:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend of 6 years told me that since I've proven my loyalty and faithfully stuck by his side, he has no reason to ever consider marrying me, because "It's not like you're going anywhere, honey." He seems not to understand why I am upset by this. FML
by heartbrokenhaley / 01/23/2014 at 3:57pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…