Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

barreiroj

Search for a member

barreiroj
  • Town/Country : Trapped in the internet, Stuck in a black hole
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 170
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

barreiroj's last visitors

ironfeyCherrytaKatyLaraetheHIGHroad2awesomepantTamiaaa1717Juicenubinner_peaceTbear11xAwkwardTurtleKar0dachayke

barreiroj's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of barreiroj's badges

barreiroj's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my first ever job interview. I thought I was doing well, until the recruiter asked why he should hire me. The only thing I could say was "Because I'm really, really nervous right now?" FML

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

#21037332
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35162) - you deserved it (4111)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, and for the past week, my dog started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML

#21037288
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39283) - you deserved it (8421)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by fappy dog - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years told me that since I've proven my loyalty and faithfully stuck by his side, he has no reason to ever consider marrying me, because "It's not like you're going anywhere, honey." He seems not to understand why I am upset by this. FML

#21037274
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45263) - you deserved it (4420)

On 01/23/2014 at 3:57pm - love - by heartbrokenhaley - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to accept the fact that I'm going bald, after I noticed the hair on my chest is longer than the hair on my head. FML

#21037094
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34924) - you deserved it (3054)

On 01/23/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by Hairy_Potter (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML

#21036979
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40944) - you deserved it (13762)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:53am - misc - by MarBlu - United States

Today, I decided to dye my hair blue. The result is slightly different than I expected: my white bathroom is now blue, and so are my skin and nails. The only thing that isn't blue is my hair, which is now green. FML

#21036650
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38274) - you deserved it (18290)

On 01/22/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after I took my first set of exams, my professor posted on Twitter, scoffing at how stupid one student's answer was. The answer he quoted was one that I wrote. FML

#21036248
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45227) - you deserved it (9196)

On 01/22/2014 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML

#21036142
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39633) - you deserved it (4820)

On 01/22/2014 at 2:23pm - misc - by IMSERIOUS - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML

#21035436
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58640) - you deserved it (8020)

On 01/21/2014 at 8:16pm - health - by AnonWife - United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire)

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

#21035414
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40009) - you deserved it (5290)

On 01/21/2014 at 7:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason why my credit card mysteriously maxed out 2 months ago 'might have been' because she posted a picture of it on Facebook. I ordered a new credit card without the custom picture of us immediately. She broke up with me. FML

#21035364
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48734) - you deserved it (5351)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:59pm - love - by FacebookStrikesAgain (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML

#21035329
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44927) - you deserved it (8211)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by MM - United States (Maine)

Today, I had a big final project due for class. None of my project partners would help me yesterday, because they were convinced we'd have a snow day. Unfortunately, we didn't have a snow day, and we failed. FML

#21035327
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38193) - you deserved it (6420)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my brother asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I stupidly said yes and now have a black eye from where he punched me. My dad thinks it's hilarious and my mum says he didn't know any better. He's 13. FML

#21035253
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41077) - you deserved it (4993)

On 01/21/2014 at 5:27pm - health - by cuntocracy (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: