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barreiroj's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at the school's rec center, working out for the first time in a while. While there, there was this very mysteriously attractive girl who kept shooting me glances. I asked for her number and she responded by saying "if you can lift this same weight as me". I couldn't. FML
by caswell 1 / 02/28/2009 at 12:03am / United States (Oregon) / Love
by mynameisnotdrew / 02/17/2009 at 12:19pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
by k / 02/16/2009 at 12:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by hatethatiloveyou / 02/09/2009 at 7:37pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by SuperJesus / 02/01/2009 at 5:27am / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Intimacy
by oicwydt / 01/31/2009 at 6:25pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by j4y / 01/28/2009 at 7:30pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by crazyvulva9216 / 01/26/2009 at 8:17pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Heartbroken / 01/20/2009 at 10:16am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by SSH / 01/18/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Youknowwho / 01/17/2009 at 9:55pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was hanging out with a couple of friends and one of them tells a funny story about how he filled a condom with syrup and put it in his friend's mouth while he was asleep. Me with my big mouth starts to say, "Condoms taste na--" and stopped myself as everyone started laughing at me. FML
by jen / 01/15/2009 at 7:39pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my supervisor at work took me into the back room, saying "several other cashiers complained… Today, the pretzel shop I work at posted the schedule for the next two weeks. I'm the only one who… Today, I found out my sister is so cheap she used all the gas I put in the car to drive to the city…