barreiroj

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Offline (the 09/15/2015 at 6:20am)

barreiroj

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5831
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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barreiroj's page activity

Visits<b>badassmf1234</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 10:45pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 5:14pm<b>jamienicole1993</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 2:04pm<b>nickn426</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 12:19pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 2:23pm<b>eezila</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 1:27pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 6:56pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 1:29pm<b>kelsorg</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 10:50am<b>Juicenub</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 12:14pm<b>Kar0</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 6:34pm<b>PewDiePie_Lover</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 12:21am<b>TheManInWhiteXx</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 12:35am<b>Lang88</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 10:28am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 6:41pm<b>KatyLarae</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 12:48am<b>theHIGHroad2</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 11:53am<b>aa1717</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 10:36am

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barreiroj's favorite FMLs

Today, a mother wrote me a $130 check for babysitting her four kids for a few hours. Trying to be gracious, I said, "Wow, thank you, this is very generous!" She thought for a minute, then said, "You're right." She took the check back, ripped it up, and wrote me a new one for $55. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2009 at 9:34am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home a few days early from a 3-month business trip. As I opened my apartment door, hoping to surprise my girlfriend, the man she's apparently been cheating on me with promptly punched me in the face. He thought I was a burglar. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2009 at 3:42pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

by Creep / 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I got a small scar on my faced removed at a plastic surgeon's. Afterward, I told my mom that losing the scar felt weird, like I lost something that gave me character. My mom replied, "Don't worry, you have plenty of other flaws to give you character." FML

by Lena / 03/27/2009 at 12:07am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML

by blondie / 03/24/2009 at 7:10pm / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, as a veteran blood donor, I made a friend who was donating for the first time- I told her not to be scared and that I've been doing it for six years and that it was a great way to help people. While at the snack area afterwards, I passed out, started convulsing and went into shock. FML

by bridalqueen / 03/24/2009 at 8:43am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML

by Mike / 03/21/2009 at 11:38am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking out of the grocery store and out of no where, a car backing up pretty fast speeds downs the parking lot and hits me, causing me to fall down and drop all of the groceries. The woman jumped out of her car, not to help me, but to carefully check her bumper for scratches. FML

by dxplq876 / 03/16/2009 at 11:13pm / United States / Transportation

Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML

by thiswouldhappen. / 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was swimming in the ocean with my best friend and a giant wave came and knocked off the bottom of my bikini. My friend told me that she would go get another bottom so I could walk onto the very crowded beach. She left me for half an hour, laughing from the shore with her entire family. FML

by paymeinhugs / 03/16/2009 at 9:04pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one smallest penis I have ever seen." FML

by Noname / 03/11/2009 at 4:29pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was late to school for the third time this week because my alarm clock didn't go off. I clearly remembered setting it, so I videotaped myself sleeping. It turns out I've been turning off my alarm clock in my sleep. FML

by EFFED4LIFE / 03/11/2009 at 1:33am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML

by fannylovesfelix / 03/10/2009 at 7:05pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML

by goodbye / 03/08/2009 at 8:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I went to the ER for severe pain in my abdominal area. The doctor comes in after looking at the CT scan and says, "Well it's not your appendix." Thinking I'm in the clear I say, "That's Awesome", the doctor then responded with "It's probably your testicles." FML

by 06SuFi / 03/06/2009 at 7:43pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.