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barreiroj's favorite FMLs
Today, I saw a girl I haven't seen in 4 years. She used to like me back then. Since then I have lost 50 pounds, and never had the confidence to ask her out. She said I looked really sexy so I decided to ask her out on a date then and there. She said no, she only likes fat guys. FML
by Nofatforme / 09/06/2009 at 12:19am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
by mandy / 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Love
by urmommmm / 08/22/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my aunt to pluck my eyebrows since hers are perfectly done. What I didn't know is she gets hers professionally shaped and she doesn't know how to shape eyebrows. I now look like a surprised Vulcan. FML
by Anonymous / 08/17/2009 at 6:11pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm / United States (Kansas) / Love
Today, while I was in the doctors they told me that me and my son needed a shot, I went first to show my son that it wouldnt hurt and shots were not something to be afraid of. When they gave me my shot I started crying. My four year old son handles pain better than his 29 year old mom. FML
by wimp / 08/15/2009 at 1:06pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
Today, while working as a parking booth attendant I decided to be nice and offer a woman free parking. I said, "give me a high five and I'll give you free parking since I already did the paper work." She said, "I'd rather pay," with a really disgusted look. I also had to redo the paper work. FML
by ParkingGuy / 08/14/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
by d.stack / 08/12/2009 at 7:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML
by guard35 / 08/12/2009 at 1:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Toaster / 07/30/2009 at 11:11am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by saynotochrispine / 07/28/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Georgia) / Geek
Today, I sent in a fake story to a website that supports a yearly festival in my small town thinking it would boost their spirits. It was how my boyfriend proposed to me at last year's festival. Now the local news station wants to do a story about it. FML
by Tasji / 07/27/2009 at 2:24am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was having really bad diarrhea. I sat down on the toilet and heard a plop, thinking it was just me going to the bathroom. After I was finished, I look in the toilet to see my iPhone sitting in a pool of diarrhea. FML
by Pottymouth / 07/25/2009 at 1:14pm / United States / Money
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. As everything was ending, I tried to save the relationship by telling her how much I cared about her. Her response? "Please stop. You're gonna make me feel bad." FML
by masterofblues / 07/24/2009 at 12:18am / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I slept together. In the middle of the night, he saw my phone receiving a text from someone saying "Hey baby, I missed you so much! I'm going to be visiting in a couple of days, hope to see you again, I love you!". He got mad and left my house. It was my dad from Ohio. FML
by fmlfmlfml / 07/20/2009 at 12:03pm / United States / Love