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barreiroj's favorite FMLs
Today, I saw a small child take a really bad fall off his scooter, so I got rid of my cigarette and ran to help him. I asked him if he was alright, or if I could walk him to his house. He replied "I'm okay, but your dress is on fire." It was. FML
by Laura / 09/21/2010 at 8:31pm / United States / Kids
by yourmom / 09/21/2010 at 1:46am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by gorillalove / 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by sad-sexed / 09/06/2010 at 8:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, on my way to work, the obese old guy in the house opposite mine offered me tips on my yoga technique. Not only were his tips helpful, but I now know I should either close my curtains or put clothes on when I do yoga. FML
by nakedyogagirl / 09/02/2010 at 8:16pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML
by Spelit / 08/13/2010 at 3:45pm / United States (Iowa) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection before he goes into the men's showers after training so his penis will look bigger in front of all the guys. I find it worrying that he won't have sex with me, but has no problem walking around in front of men naked with a semi. FML
by 4fucksake / 07/18/2010 at 7:26pm / Ireland (Sligo) / Intimacy
Today, I was looking for a parking spot and finally found one. Trying to figure out if the spot was legal, I asked a cop that had pulled up. He said it was fine. I came back 3 hours later to a parking ticket. FML
by Anonymous / 07/17/2010 at 4:31pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 07/16/2010 at 7:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Geek
by Really? / 07/10/2010 at 10:57am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
Today, I was studying late and kept hearing weird screeching sounds from outside. I couldn't figure out what it was and started getting really freaked out. It wasn't until later that I realized it was just my nose whistling. FML
by rockefoe / 06/30/2010 at 4:04am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, after several hours of trying to get my triplet daughters to go to bed, they finally fell asleep. Exhausted, I went to the bathroom so I could go to bed. Not thinking about it, I dropped the toilet seat down rather loudly and flushed the toilet. All three girls woke up crying. FML
by sigh... / 06/25/2010 at 2:44am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the couch. I got thirsty, so I got up and grabbed a metal water bottle and drank out of it. He tried to playfully touch it and spill water on me, but instead hit it hard enough to where it slammed my mouth, chipped my tooth, and cut open my lip. FML
by Anonymous / 03/18/2010 at 3:05am / United States (California) / Love
by bumblebee / 03/13/2010 at 2:10pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 11:55am / United States (Maine) / Love
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I've been living in Germany for several weeks now. My classmates still cannot pronounce my… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…