barreiroj

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Offline (the 09/15/2015 at 6:20am)

barreiroj

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5459
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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barreiroj's page activity

Visits<b>badassmf1234</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 10:45pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 5:14pm<b>jamienicole1993</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 2:04pm<b>nickn426</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 12:19pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 2:23pm<b>eezila</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 1:27pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 6:56pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 1:29pm<b>kelsorg</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 10:50am<b>Juicenub</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 12:14pm<b>Kar0</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 6:34pm<b>PewDiePie_Lover</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 12:21am<b>TheManInWhiteXx</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 12:35am<b>Lang88</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 10:28am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 6:41pm<b>KatyLarae</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 12:48am<b>theHIGHroad2</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 11:53am<b>aa1717</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 10:36am

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barreiroj's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that the laser disc player I used to have was not in fact a laser disc player but a Pioneer Laseractive. Broken ones sell on eBay for $200 and working ones sell for around $1000. I sold a working one for less than $100-worth of credit at a second-hand store. FML

by Sad Nerd / 04/02/2014 at 4:20am / United States (Arizona) / Money

Today, for our 25th anniversary, my husband and I had dinner on a cruise ship, a dinner we had been planning for months. Upon boarding, I realized the expensive dress that I had bought just for the occasion had exactly the same print as the chair covers and the carpet. The cruise lasted 8 hours. FML

by Why / 04/02/2014 at 4:13am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

by derped-out sperm / 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm / Ireland / Kids

Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2014 at 2:06am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2014 at 12:43am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it would be funny to smack my daughter's head gently with a balloon. It hit her hair clip and exploded. She won't stop crying, and my wife will be home any minute. I'm screwed. FML

by and not even in the good way / 03/30/2014 at 4:36pm / United States / Kids

Today, while searching a woman for contraband as part of my job, she kept making sexual noises throughout. After I finished, she hugged me and went on her way. I really need a new job. FML

by ohdear. / 03/29/2014 at 7:07pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

by the other guy? / 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, my parents and I attended the funeral of my husband's mother. It was open-casket, and my parents went to take a look. My mum muttered, "With a dress that tacky, no wonder she died", and my dad chuckled. A fight quickly erupted, and the police were called. FML

by disgusted / 03/29/2014 at 5:31pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2014 at 4:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2014 at 8:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

by oops / 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Love

Today, I wanted to eat my last bowl of sugary cereal before starting my new diet. I fell down the stairs with the full bowl in hand. Message received, universe. FML

by bonbon789 / 03/27/2014 at 2:10pm / United States / Health

Today, someone on Instagram posted a picture of himself with gym lifting straps around his neck. I commented "autoerotic asphyxiation" and now a 250-pound bodybuilder wants to kill me. FML

by athletiks / 03/26/2014 at 6:39pm / United States (Washington) / Health