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barnmaster98

Offline (the 10/30/2014 at 5:32am) | Search for a member

barnmaster98

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 December 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2185
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About barnmaster98 : i love reading these but it's only on my itouch

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Visits<b>DrewJoeyPeyton</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 3:07pm<b>frbrbrb</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 8:00am<b>Effulgence</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:42pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 3:49pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 10:43am<b>XRAZANX</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 6:38am<b>OnlyAvailableID</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 1:51am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 7:44pm<b>theholc</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 12:00am

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barnmaster98's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my grandparents my old cell to use since they needed an upgrade. I thought I had deleted everything until I received a text from my grandmother. It was a vagina shot I had taken for my fiancé with a message that said "You need to wear more makeup". FML

#19158287
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9448) - you deserved it (31853)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by ashleynicolle (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

#19156948
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10437) - you deserved it (55255)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

#19146778
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14419) - you deserved it (33422)

On 02/23/2012 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

#19124149
382 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26401) - you deserved it (4071)

On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I felt sorry for the weird chick at work that everybody avoids and decided to initiate a conversation with her. She interrupted me mid-sentence to tell me about her vaginal odor problems, before shoving her hand into my chip packet and inviting herself to dinner at my house. FML

#19113154
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39310) - you deserved it (7972)

On 02/19/2012 at 4:15am - intimacy - by meet Chloe - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after recently moving to an apartment, we've already been asked if we wanted to buy drugs, had a children's chair thrown through the front window, our door painted with "CUNT LICKER" and my laundry stolen. FML

#19092499
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31770) - you deserved it (3554)

On 02/16/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Jeathrow - United States (California)

Today, I found out that driving for 2 weeks on 3/4 of a tank doesn't mean my truck magically got more efficient, it means my gas gauge is broken. FML

#19092080
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11690) - you deserved it (28926)

On 02/16/2012 at 7:49am - misc - by Kramer - Canada (Ontario)

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15840) - you deserved it (29219)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was leaving for work, I discovered my neighbor had just passed away. I found out when I came across his body lying in my front yard. FML

#19087811
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31581) - you deserved it (1868)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:53pm - misc - by Jedi2500 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home from work and went into the bathroom. I saw a poo on the toilet lid, and thinking it was a trick toy that my son had got to trick me, I picked it up. It wasn't a toy. FML

#18983389
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20026) - you deserved it (22129)

On 02/03/2012 at 10:49am - kids - by AvengedSevenX - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML

#18973351
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36479) - you deserved it (3540)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm - money - by zobara - Switzerland

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31046) - you deserved it (4982)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today, I picked up my driver's licence and my keys off the floor at the same time, using only my toes. This was the highlight of my day. FML

#18949716
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19285) - you deserved it (5416)

On 01/30/2012 at 1:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking to me. One of her male friends, who is a self-styled astrologist, told her there are "bad omens" in our relationship for the coming weeks. I don't know if I should dump her for being gullible or just plain stupid. FML

#18943395
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24102) - you deserved it (3227)

On 01/29/2012 at 2:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I finally made the last payment on the beautiful engagement ring I bought and proposed with - two years ago. To my ex-girlfriend, who said no and promptly started sleeping with one of my friends. FML

#18940800
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32819) - you deserved it (2706)

On 01/29/2012 at 4:55am - love - by brokeandsingle - United Kingdom (York)



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