Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

barnmaster98

Search for a member

barnmaster98

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 December 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1842
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About barnmaster98 : i love reading these but it's only on my itouch

Add me as a friend on YouTube www.youtube.com/barnmaster98

barnmaster98's page activity

Visits<b>Effulgence</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:42pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 3:49pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 10:43am<b>XRAZANX</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 6:38am<b>OnlyAvailableID</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 1:51am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 7:44pm<b>theholc</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 12:00am

barnmaster98's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of barnmaster98's badges

barnmaster98's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML

#19855906
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25118) - you deserved it (4276)

On 06/27/2012 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by RatCityChick - United States (Washington)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a nude picture, he sent it back to me with a mustache on my face from that iPhone app and told me he likes it much better that way. FML

#19853880
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24330) - you deserved it (8784)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:58am - intimacy - by maggie74 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML

#19853793
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7484) - you deserved it (32838)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by deli Shoppe - United States (California)

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

#19810073
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42872) - you deserved it (3922)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went bra shopping with my mother. She insisted that I try on a bunch of push-up bras, and I told her I didn't want to, because it's false advertising. She looked at me and said that I need all the help I can get. FML

#19800158
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23430) - you deserved it (4038)

On 06/17/2012 at 3:11am - misc - by historyfreak_17 - United States (Michigan)

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40786) - you deserved it (3868)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

#19743887
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13839) - you deserved it (37101)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

#19743527
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35719) - you deserved it (5823)

On 06/06/2012 at 10:19am - misc - by Bishop (man) -

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

#19738484
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27380) - you deserved it (3066)

On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while I was on stage dancing for a competition dress rehearsal, my top fell off, exposing my breasts. I was really embarrassed, but fortunately no one said anything about it. That is until a kid in the audience came up to me and said, "That was a disappointment." FML

#19737125
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22741) - you deserved it (2563)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:27am - misc - by KenzFell (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately, this was only after bed bugs decided to attack my nipples. FML

#19722662
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24346) - you deserved it (2701)

On 06/02/2012 at 7:25pm - health - by must.not.itch. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

#19703392
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35022) - you deserved it (8645)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States

Today, I had to get the manager of a grocery store to explain to his employee how coupons work. The employee had refused to accept the coupons I was using, for fear that, "they will be deducted from my paycheck." FML

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

#19637447
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13917) - you deserved it (24776)

On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: