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barnmaster98

Offline (the 10/30/2014 at 5:32am) | Search for a member

barnmaster98

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 December 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2007
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About barnmaster98 : i love reading these but it's only on my itouch

Add me as a friend on YouTube www.youtube.com/barnmaster98

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Visits<b>frbrbrb</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 8:00am<b>Effulgence</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:42pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 3:49pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 10:43am<b>XRAZANX</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 6:38am<b>OnlyAvailableID</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 1:51am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 7:44pm<b>theholc</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 12:00am

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barnmaster98's favorite FMLs

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

#20113152
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27842) - you deserved it (1997)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by Dino (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75158) - you deserved it (8794)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22410) - you deserved it (3993)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, I was placed firmly in the friend-zone. By my wife. We've been married 10 years. She doesn't want a divorce, she says it'd be too "time-consuming." FML

#20111577
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29052) - you deserved it (2117)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:56am - love - by agh marriage (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had my first orgasm. Unfortunately, it was during breakup sex. FML

#20110068
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30185) - you deserved it (8380)

On 10/10/2012 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Depression... (woman) - United States

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16161) - you deserved it (61037)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33318) - you deserved it (3461)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML

#20107826
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8169) - you deserved it (35526)

On 10/08/2012 at 6:27pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 months got mad at me because I thought she was attractive. She has an identical twin, and she says if I think she's attractive, I must want her twin too. FML

#20107518
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31739) - you deserved it (2171)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:36pm - love - by jack - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31924) - you deserved it (6607)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27007) - you deserved it (6946)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

#20084737
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28322) - you deserved it (11201)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML

#20081199
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32031) - you deserved it (2326)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by MistressSuzuka (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I spent ten minutes looking for my cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was my cell phone's. FML

#20078695
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7221) - you deserved it (29909)

On 09/19/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by unaware - United States (Ohio)

Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML

#20057050
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28297) - you deserved it (1512)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:53am - misc - by hooligyn123 - United States



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