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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34272) - you deserved it (4574)
Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8020) - you deserved it (52674)
On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)
Today, I gave my dad a brochure for anger management. His response? Throwing a chair out the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29929) - you deserved it (6351)
On 07/28/2011 at 11:25am - health - by 99520 - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28397) - you deserved it (4963)
On 07/25/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Ima_Moronski - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he'd thought I'd tagged along on his date with my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33221) - you deserved it (6250)
On 07/24/2011 at 1:02pm - love - by Lonely (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16526) - you deserved it (39252)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States
Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34319) - you deserved it (2745)
On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33320) - you deserved it (4055)
On 05/21/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by thatsasquee - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9581) - you deserved it (32722)
On 05/20/2011 at 3:05pm - misc - by lionhead14 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my looks alone made a girl cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22557) - you deserved it (3331)
On 03/07/2010 at 1:54pm - misc - by SadFace (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8768) - you deserved it (15543)
On 03/07/2010 at 10:46am - intimacy - by fml (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72526) - you deserved it (7925)
On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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