Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

barneystinson555

Search for a member

barneystinson555

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 April 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 897
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About barneystinson555 : FML

barneystinson555's page activity

Visits<b>Airman1988</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 1:47am<b>lmc94</b> - the 02/13/2012 at 12:12am<b>chris3113</b> - the 01/09/2012 at 11:31pm<b>jesseecuh</b> - the 01/07/2012 at 8:00pm<b>slim_lady</b> - the 12/30/2011 at 6:51am<b>winterforever97</b> - the 12/28/2011 at 3:28am<b>Awesomeness44</b> - the 12/13/2011 at 6:08pm<b>The_Troller</b> - the 12/06/2011 at 7:35pm

barneystinson555's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of barneystinson555's badges

barneystinson555's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML

#6540223
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35363) - you deserved it (4530)

On 11/30/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by Cpm (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, whilst holding a hand rail on a packed bus, I was rubbing my hand along, and playing with, what I thought was a join in the metal. It was an old woman's finger. FML

#5924730
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10850) - you deserved it (29977)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by FingerBang (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had my 3 year old son in the doctors office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML

#5349169
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36701) - you deserved it (7883)

On 09/19/2009 at 10:37am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking with my very attractive friend who I like a lot. She then told me that her roomate wouldn't be home tonight, and if I wanted, I could come over and study history. I didn't get it. I told her no thanks, that I was covered, and it was chem I needed to study. An hour later, I understood. FML

#5173603
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12526) - you deserved it (69307)

On 09/10/2009 at 7:17pm - love - by itisthedude (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML

#4651060
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46341) - you deserved it (4579)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:32am - misc - by Dude (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

#4483118
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53310) - you deserved it (19925)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to go through the embarrassment and pain of telling my parents I was pregnant. I took the test and it came out positive and I was freaking out. I got grounded for the rest of the year and they're really disappointed in me. Five minutes ago, I got my period. FML

#3676962
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52513) - you deserved it (27265)

On 07/11/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying "I'm good" or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

#1972272
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59095) - you deserved it (23449)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by UncleRory (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was riding my bike with my parents. They make me wear a helmet when I'm with them. Some college age kids drove past and yelled, "Nice helmet!" My mother then told me, "They like you!" I'm sixteen and my helmet is blue. With flowers. FML

#1656975
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49730) - you deserved it (8269)

On 05/05/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by dinosawerr (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I was straight. She looked at me and said "Well, that's really up to you honey. But your father and I would still love you." I was asking if she thought I had parked straight. FML

#1625172
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49053) - you deserved it (11553)

On 05/04/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally got my cast taken off my leg after a long month of crutches. I was so excited, until four dead spiders fell out. FML

#1479703
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80857) - you deserved it (4054)

On 04/30/2009 at 12:53am - animals - by dasbooot (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the $300 ring my boyfriend gave me for my birthday slipped off my finger... into the toilet. I had to sift through my own poo to get it back. FML

#1147441
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59839) - you deserved it (17981)

On 04/20/2009 at 6:05am - misc - by ohhelllllno (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my mom scooped the litter box right before I went to work. I brown bagged my lunch this morning. She brown bagged the poop from the litter box. Both were on the counter. Guess which one I brought to work? FML

#969770
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57004) - you deserved it (13039)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by chriss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

#644123
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82594) - you deserved it (16352)

On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

#644123
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82594) - you deserved it (16352)

On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: