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barfcannon

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barfcannon

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 December 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 835
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About barfcannon : Extroverted when I have to be.
I love art, adventures and gloomy days.
Finished college and waiting for a job to fall on me.

barfcannon's page activity

Visits<b>JulianR91</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 3:46pm<b>SumthinNUrM0uth</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 1:22pm<b>Lawlipop07</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:09am<b>mystery_user</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 7:12am<b>benjamins39</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 1:32am<b>Furby94</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 5:33pm<b>earlydeath</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 5:00pm<b>Twunt</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 4:57pm<b>robbedoes</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 3:51pm<b>baseballx07</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 3:48pm<b>alliewillie</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 3:25pm<b>nifty_</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:59pm<b>julianthegreat</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:16pm<b>IronCobra</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 11:50am<b>Shep81</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 11:46am<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 11:02am<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 10:38am<b>noxcrimson</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 10:14am

barfcannon's FML badges

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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barfcannon's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML

#5463165
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21483) - you deserved it (2941)

On 09/25/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by lone_ranger (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

#5378920
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35961) - you deserved it (3339)

On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62418) - you deserved it (15861)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML

#4685696
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54499) - you deserved it (41273)

On 08/20/2009 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by younggrammy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML

#4264267
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54647) - you deserved it (2083)

On 08/03/2009 at 8:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

#4070299
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51993) - you deserved it (14205)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, was my senior prom. I've had a crush on my date for months, but after many attempts at grinding with him and sexy seduction, he rejected me saying he was a good Catholic boy. I later found out that not only is he in touch with his religion, but intimately in touch with other boys. FML

#2871893
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44263) - you deserved it (6302)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by failatboys (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

#869850
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36461) - you deserved it (89478)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

#869023
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15989) - you deserved it (90089)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:48am - work - by StevieMe (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML

#741988
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86145) - you deserved it (17845)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by highleyj (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my bosses house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4 foot cake before passing out. FML

#706614
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28921) - you deserved it (74567)

On 03/30/2009 at 6:17pm - work - by Donzai (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML

#495475
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56048) - you deserved it (29183)

On 03/20/2009 at 7:35pm - misc - by cjj325 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to introduce my girlfriend to my parents by telling them that we were gonna have a very special guest for dinner. While my mom was preparing the meal she asked, "What does he like?" I'm straight. My parents thought different. FML

#407714
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81774) - you deserved it (6767)

On 03/17/2009 at 3:25am - love - by isaacBENNETT (man) - United States (Virginia)



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