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barfcannon

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barfcannon

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barfcannonbarfcannon
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 December 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1039
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About barfcannon : Extroverted when I have to be.
I love art, adventures and gloomy days.
Finished college and waiting for a job to fall on me.

barfcannon's page activity

Visits<b>GentlemanBastard</b> - 18 hours ago<b>Chaoticthor</b> - 20 hours ago<b>a7xheart</b> - 20 hours ago<b>muslimpride</b> - 23 hours ago<b>rkdstp1995</b> - yesterday at 2:13am<b>TellMeThings</b> - yesterday at 7:31pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - yesterday at 7:17pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:23pm<b>Ravike</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 4:20am<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 8:33am<b>kensiclee</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 7:33pm<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 5:43pm<b>mystery_user</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 10:28am<b>AviatOfficial</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 1:55am<b>cakelol</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 1:40am<b>how_about_no_</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:04am<b>MaybeMoo</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 5:08pm<b>xLIGHTS</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 5:06pm

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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barfcannon's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

#7203649
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26555) - you deserved it (3510)

On 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by James4929 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML

#6718371
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19671) - you deserved it (3718)

On 12/12/2009 at 2:28am - intimacy - by Laura_2118 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML

#6683898
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7814) - you deserved it (34564)

On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML

#6100010
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11901) - you deserved it (44967)

On 11/01/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48436) - you deserved it (3926)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML

#5463165
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21586) - you deserved it (2945)

On 09/25/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by lone_ranger (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

#5378920
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36701) - you deserved it (3418)

On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63018) - you deserved it (16009)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML

#4685696
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54800) - you deserved it (41433)

On 08/20/2009 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by younggrammy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML

#4264267
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54767) - you deserved it (2090)

On 08/03/2009 at 8:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

#4070299
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52129) - you deserved it (14223)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, was my senior prom. I've had a crush on my date for months, but after many attempts at grinding with him and sexy seduction, he rejected me saying he was a good Catholic boy. I later found out that not only is he in touch with his religion, but intimately in touch with other boys. FML

#2871893
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44389) - you deserved it (6314)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by failatboys (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

#869850
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37097) - you deserved it (90410)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

#869023
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16053) - you deserved it (90275)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:48am - work - by StevieMe (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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