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barfcannon

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barfcannon
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 568
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About barfcannon : Canadian.
Extroverted when I have to be.
I love art, cats and my boyfriend.
3 more days of college

barfcannon's last visitors

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barfcannon's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

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barfcannon's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed that my wife changed her status on Facebook to "widow" and a lot of strange guys commented saying stuff like "Finally." Last I checked, I'm not dead. FML

#13352571
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39228) - you deserved it (2650)

On 10/07/2010 at 6:10am - love - by Alex - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML

#8250207
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16396) - you deserved it (2260)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:52pm - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308
182 comments

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

#7203649
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22757) - you deserved it (3154)

On 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by James4929 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML

#6718371
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16891) - you deserved it (3356)

On 12/12/2009 at 2:28am - intimacy - by Laura_2118 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML

#6683898
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6575) - you deserved it (31475)

On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML

#6100010
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10873) - you deserved it (42990)

On 11/01/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45839) - you deserved it (3717)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML

#5463165
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19270) - you deserved it (2732)

On 09/25/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by lone_ranger (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

#5378920
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33938) - you deserved it (3145)

On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60648) - you deserved it (15379)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML

#4685696
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48191) - you deserved it (33830)

On 08/20/2009 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by younggrammy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML

#4264267
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52678) - you deserved it (1934)

On 08/03/2009 at 8:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

#4070299
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47461) - you deserved it (13021)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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