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barfcannon

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barfcannon

9Fucked!

barfcannonbarfcannon
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 December 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2005
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About barfcannon : I am into mythology, surrealism, geometry, home décor, winter, animals, yoga and art + art history.

Some of my more mainstream interests are Harry Potter, Family Guy, Adventure Time, Game of Thrones, the first 10 seasons of The Simpsons and freaking sweet puns.

Also I always thought I was a practical sort of person but seeing basically all my interests listed out confirms everyone else's opinions that I'm a huge flaky dreamer.

All my friends moved out of my city after college so I'm in need of more friends in my life so send me a message!

barfcannon's page activity

Visits<b>LuxEtTenebris</b> - yesterday at 4:30am<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 7:24pm<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 1:41pm<b>RA91</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 2:51am<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:23am<b>Lifei</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 8:52pm<b>bloopploop</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 8:05pm<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 2:51pm<b>SAspring</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 9:36am<b>ghetto_child</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 1:06pm<b>EnigMind</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 10:06am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 10:03am<b>atrumX</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 12:11pm<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 7:42am<b>jjmack34</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:46am<b>floup</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:22pm<b>JessMac9000</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 6:09pm<b>ThePoonSlayer</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:47am

Fucked!<b>RA91</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 8:52am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 1:42pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 4:11am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 3:29am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:34am<b>brittaaany_93</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 8:10am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 12:54am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 8:58pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 1:56pm

barfcannon's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of barfcannon's badges

barfcannon's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63537) - you deserved it (14459)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML

#20679387
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41523) - you deserved it (3338)

On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States

Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML

#20677893
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45843) - you deserved it (6544)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by Time for a haircut (man) - United States

Today, my brother tried to convince me to get a clitoris piercing at his recently opened piercing studio. FML

#20668963
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59970) - you deserved it (6055)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML

#20657738
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51501) - you deserved it (18296)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by peallow (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64855) - you deserved it (5968)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60628) - you deserved it (9159)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

#20632794
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59525) - you deserved it (7765)

On 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML

#20580049
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42985) - you deserved it (6416)

On 04/08/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by badparent (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52713) - you deserved it (5802)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

#20563680
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67548) - you deserved it (17124)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48531) - you deserved it (14446)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML

#20548252
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40240) - you deserved it (5744)

On 03/17/2013 at 8:10pm - love - by noooooooo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35599) - you deserved it (6796)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57071) - you deserved it (4606) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)



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