Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

barfcannon

Online | Search for a member

barfcannon

19Fucked!

barfcannonbarfcannon
  • Town/Country : London, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 December 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2389
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About barfcannon : I am into mythology, surrealism, geometry, home décor, winter, animals, yoga and art + art history.

Some of my more mainstream interests are Harry Potter, Family Guy, Adventure Time, Game of Thrones, the first 10 seasons of The Simpsons and freaking sweet puns.

Also I always thought I was a practical sort of person but seeing basically all my interests listed out confirms everyone else's opinions that I'm a huge flaky dreamer.

All my friends moved out of my city after college so I'm in need of more friends in my life so send me a message! I swear I'm not as pretentious as my interests make me sound!

barfcannon's page activity

Visits<b>360momkeycrash</b> - 23 hours ago<b>Xx3rdBASSxX</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 12:26am<b>MeltedBrain</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 1:24pm<b>asdx</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:36pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:52am<b>vegemute</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 11:04am<b>daveydavidson111</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 9:02am<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 5:58am<b>rockwrench</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 3:28am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 1:02am<b>ditty_65</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 1:50am<b>platypus546</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 11:59pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 2:06pm<b>coaches</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 3:15pm<b>moiqbal</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 8:10pm<b>BoundBySpace</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 12:52am<b>dudefromasia</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:05am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:48pm

Fucked!<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 9:53am<b>Codezlol</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:56pm<b>int15</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:26pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 7:47pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 11:47pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 7:22am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 4:42am<b>cdncw</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 5:02pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 2:41am<b>RA91</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 8:52am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 1:42pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 4:11am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 3:29am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:34am<b>brittaaany_93</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 8:10am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 12:54am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 8:58pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 1:56pm

barfcannon's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of barfcannon's badges

barfcannon's favorite FMLs

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47291) - you deserved it (4798)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

#20733893
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44020) - you deserved it (20876)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

#20719355
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65366) - you deserved it (4433)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML

#20698927
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47072) - you deserved it (4674)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68384) - you deserved it (19355)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to set parental controls on my iPad so my dad couldn't watch dirty videos on Youtube. FML

#20696604
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55491) - you deserved it (4521)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

#20692661
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67383) - you deserved it (14927)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66197) - you deserved it (15110)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML

#20679387
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41591) - you deserved it (3342)

On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States

Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML

#20677893
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45904) - you deserved it (6552)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by Time for a haircut (man) - United States

Today, my brother tried to convince me to get a clitoris piercing at his recently opened piercing studio. FML

#20668963
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63137) - you deserved it (6358)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML

#20657738
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51591) - you deserved it (18316)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by peallow (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64993) - you deserved it (5975)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63533) - you deserved it (9604)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

#20632794
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59621) - you deserved it (7771)

On 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: