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barfcannon

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barfcannon

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barfcannonbarfcannon
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 December 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1448
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About barfcannon : Hodor.

barfcannon's page activity

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barfcannon's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

#20770214
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44250) - you deserved it (4216)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:19am - animals - by PerfectTiming - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53003) - you deserved it (9155)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

#20761484
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68156) - you deserved it (4347)

On 07/03/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Nicks - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

#20756438
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48348) - you deserved it (9364)

On 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm - kids - by sorry, kiddo (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I thought I was home alone. Likewise, my visiting grandfather thought he was alone. You can imagine the mutual surprise when I caught him stealing money from my sister's bedroom. FML

#20743925
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45802) - you deserved it (2734)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:38am - money - by pumboc (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47145) - you deserved it (4791)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

#20733893
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42357) - you deserved it (20170)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

#20719355
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63643) - you deserved it (4286)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML

#20698927
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45140) - you deserved it (4502)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65808) - you deserved it (18739)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to set parental controls on my iPad so my dad couldn't watch dirty videos on Youtube. FML

#20696604
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55263) - you deserved it (4511)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

#20692661
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64904) - you deserved it (14332)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63422) - you deserved it (14443)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML

#20679387
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40637) - you deserved it (3263)

On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States

Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML

#20677893
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45765) - you deserved it (6537)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by Time for a haircut (man) - United States



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