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barfcannon

Offline (the 08/23/2015 at 10:57pm) | Search for a member

barfcannon

20Fucked!

barfcannonbarfcannon
  • Town/Country : London, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 December 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2466
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About barfcannon : I am into mythology, surrealism, geometry, home décor, winter, animals, yoga and art + art history.

Some of my more mainstream interests are Harry Potter, Family Guy, Adventure Time, Game of Thrones, the first 10 seasons of The Simpsons and freaking sweet puns.

Also I always thought I was a practical sort of person but seeing basically all my interests listed out confirms everyone else's opinions that I'm a huge flaky dreamer.

All my friends moved out of my city after college so I'm in need of more friends in my life so send me a message! I swear I'm not as pretentious as my interests make me sound!

barfcannon's page activity

Visits<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:22pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 8:16pm<b>360momkeycrash</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 1:49am<b>Xx3rdBASSxX</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 12:26am<b>MeltedBrain</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 1:24pm<b>asdx</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:36pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:52am<b>vegemute</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 11:04am<b>daveydavidson111</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 9:02am<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 5:58am<b>rockwrench</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 3:28am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 1:02am<b>ditty_65</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 1:50am<b>platypus546</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 11:59pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 2:06pm<b>coaches</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 3:15pm<b>moiqbal</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 8:10pm<b>BoundBySpace</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 12:52am

Fucked!<b>beeferjay</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 2:16am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 9:53am<b>Codezlol</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:56pm<b>int15</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:26pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 7:47pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 11:47pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 7:22am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 4:42am<b>cdncw</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 5:02pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 2:41am<b>RA91</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 8:52am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 1:42pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 4:11am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 3:29am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:34am<b>brittaaany_93</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 8:10am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 12:54am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 8:58pm

barfcannon's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of barfcannon's badges

barfcannon's favorite FMLs

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

#21008430
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42906) - you deserved it (10053)

On 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm - health - by beemove (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33493) - you deserved it (15691)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28692) - you deserved it (41199)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML

#20866691
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37159) - you deserved it (6683)

On 09/03/2013 at 9:32pm - misc - by JustAnotherFML23 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

#20822001
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48969) - you deserved it (4934)

On 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by Serum - United States (Kansas)

Today, I discovered that my wife named our kids after her former lovers. We have two sons and a daughter. FML

#20819538
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51484) - you deserved it (5169)

On 08/03/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53303) - you deserved it (4392)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, I came home at 1am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

#20775513
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61189) - you deserved it (3813)

On 07/11/2013 at 2:26am - misc - by whowhat (man) - United States

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

#20770214
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46379) - you deserved it (4431)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:19am - animals - by PerfectTiming - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55560) - you deserved it (9512)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

#20761484
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70903) - you deserved it (4575)

On 07/03/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Nicks - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

#20756438
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50458) - you deserved it (9692)

On 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm - kids - by sorry, kiddo (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I thought I was home alone. Likewise, my visiting grandfather thought he was alone. You can imagine the mutual surprise when I caught him stealing money from my sister's bedroom. FML

#20743925
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48256) - you deserved it (2910)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:38am - money - by pumboc (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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