Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

barfcannon

Online | Search for a member

barfcannon

1Liked!

barfcannonbarfcannon
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 December 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1100
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About barfcannon : Extroverted when I have to be.
I love art, adventures and gloomy days.
Finished college and waiting for a job to fall on me.

barfcannon's page activity

Visits<b>xxjohndoexx9</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Smoot7</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 7:19am<b>jagma</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 4:53am<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 9:07pm<b>PROEMG</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 5:50pm<b>sonshadsil94</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 3:06pm<b>mahovalia</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 2:45pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 11:55am<b>Ninety3Coop</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 11:52am<b>paulj23</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 10:44am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 9:14am<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 8:57am<b>Trasky04</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 5:35pm<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 4:24pm<b>MRP360</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 1:46pm<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 5:37am<b>orbit</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 6:55pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 1:37pm

Liked!<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 1:56pm

barfcannon's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of barfcannon's badges

barfcannon's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought I was home alone. Likewise, my visiting grandfather thought he was alone. You can imagine the mutual surprise when I caught him stealing money from my sister's bedroom. FML

#20743925
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45691) - you deserved it (2734)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:38am - money - by pumboc (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47056) - you deserved it (4788)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

#20733893
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42282) - you deserved it (20147)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

#20719355
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62296) - you deserved it (4176)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML

#20698927
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45055) - you deserved it (4496)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65658) - you deserved it (18721)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to set parental controls on my iPad so my dad couldn't watch dirty videos on Youtube. FML

#20696604
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55108) - you deserved it (4506)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

#20692661
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63658) - you deserved it (14011)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63301) - you deserved it (14413)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML

#20679387
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40553) - you deserved it (3258)

On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States

Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML

#20677893
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45695) - you deserved it (6533)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by Time for a haircut (man) - United States

Today, my brother tried to convince me to get a clitoris piercing at his recently opened piercing studio. FML

#20668963
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59740) - you deserved it (6043)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML

#20657738
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51317) - you deserved it (18260)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by peallow (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64591) - you deserved it (5951)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60505) - you deserved it (9140)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: