Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

barfcannon

Offline (18 minutes ago) | Search for a member

barfcannon

1Liked!

barfcannonbarfcannon
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 December 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1300
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About barfcannon : I love cats and making art. Sometimes I'm interesting but mostly I'm just pretty boring.

barfcannon's page activity

Visits<b>davidxflow</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 11:24pm<b>ThePols</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 12:54pm<b>gurbism</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 9:38am<b>Trollx</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 10:47pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 2:58pm<b>xxjohndoexx9</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 8:46pm<b>LiveLifeAllDay</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 10:10pm<b>frankiero</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 9:13pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 5:03pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 4:50pm<b>ShatteredPulse</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 2:51am<b>Betz_00</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 3:27pm<b>TJJOE</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 2:18am<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 11:51pm<b>DenverTyrrell</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 6:36pm<b>FallenLyric</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 12:36am<b>Smoot7</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 7:19am<b>jagma</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 4:53am

Liked!<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 1:56pm

barfcannon's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of barfcannon's badges

barfcannon's favorite FMLs

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52956) - you deserved it (9152)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook as she did not like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

#20761484
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68094) - you deserved it (4344)

On 07/03/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Nicks - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

#20756438
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48311) - you deserved it (9361)

On 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm - kids - by sorry, kiddo (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I thought I was home alone. Likewise, my visiting grandfather thought he was alone. You can imagine the mutual surprise when I caught him stealing money from my sister's bedroom. FML

#20743925
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45754) - you deserved it (2734)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:38am - money - by pumboc (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47109) - you deserved it (4790)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

#20733893
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42336) - you deserved it (20161)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

#20719355
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62360) - you deserved it (4179)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML

#20698927
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45104) - you deserved it (4497)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65745) - you deserved it (18730)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to set parental controls on my iPad so my dad couldn't watch dirty videos on Youtube. FML

#20696604
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55188) - you deserved it (4509)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

#20692661
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64855) - you deserved it (14317)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63375) - you deserved it (14431)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML

#20679387
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40608) - you deserved it (3263)

On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States

Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML

#20677893
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45733) - you deserved it (6536)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by Time for a haircut (man) - United States

Today, my brother tried to convince me to get a clitoris piercing at his recently opened piercing studio. FML

#20668963
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59812) - you deserved it (6046)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: