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Offline (the 08/23/2015 at 10:57pm) | Search for a member
About barfcannon : I am into mythology, surrealism, geometry, home décor, winter, animals, yoga and art + art history.
Some of my more mainstream interests are Harry Potter, Family Guy, Adventure Time, Game of Thrones, the first 10 seasons of The Simpsons and freaking sweet puns.
Also I always thought I was a practical sort of person but seeing basically all my interests listed out confirms everyone else's opinions that I'm a huge flaky dreamer.
All my friends moved out of my city after college so I'm in need of more friends in my life so send me a message! I swear I'm not as pretentious as my interests make me sound!
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML
Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML
Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML
Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML
Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML
Monday 30 November 2015