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Offline (the 08/23/2015 at 10:57pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : London, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 December 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2688
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About barfcannon : I am into mythology, surrealism, geometry, home décor, winter, animals, yoga and art + art history.

Some of my more mainstream interests are Harry Potter, Family Guy, Adventure Time, Game of Thrones, the first 10 seasons of The Simpsons and freaking sweet puns.

Also I always thought I was a practical sort of person but seeing basically all my interests listed out confirms everyone else's opinions that I'm a huge flaky dreamer.

All my friends moved out of my city after college so I'm in need of more friends in my life so send me a message! I swear I'm not as pretentious as my interests make me sound!

barfcannon's page activity

Visits<b>cmchappy</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 5:03pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 1:55am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 4:19am<b>LittleAlice92</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 8:53pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 6:32am<b>NotRussian</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 1:09am<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 5:20pm<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 12:33am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:22pm<b>360momkeycrash</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 1:49am<b>Xx3rdBASSxX</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 12:26am<b>MeltedBrain</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 1:24pm<b>asdx</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:36pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:52am<b>vegemute</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 11:04am<b>daveydavidson111</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 9:02am<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 5:58am<b>rockwrench</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 3:28am

Fucked!<b>beeferjay</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 2:16am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 9:53am<b>Codezlol</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:56pm<b>int15</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:26pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 7:47pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 11:47pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 7:22am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 4:42am<b>cdncw</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 5:02pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 2:41am<b>RA91</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 8:52am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 1:42pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 4:11am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 3:29am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:34am<b>brittaaany_93</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 8:10am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 12:54am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 8:58pm

barfcannon's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of barfcannon's badges

barfcannon's favorite FMLs

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45942) - you deserved it (5998)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53843) - you deserved it (4607)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34946) - you deserved it (8515)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm - misc - by camerashyguy - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38723) - you deserved it (3828)

On 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm - misc - by failingdaily - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML


I agree, your life sucks (45428) - you deserved it (9133)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44427) - you deserved it (23109)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML


I agree, your life sucks (56324) - you deserved it (8417)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, trying to be nice, I added this really shy kid from my English class on Facebook. Within minutes, he started going through all my pictures and tagging himself as my breasts. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50287) - you deserved it (9642)

On 05/17/2014 at 12:54pm - misc - by creepyyy (woman) - United States

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39448) - you deserved it (4313)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45511) - you deserved it (5919)

On 04/30/2014 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML


I agree, your life sucks (44534) - you deserved it (7113)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40051) - you deserved it (3069)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46809) - you deserved it (10054)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:31am - animals - by cat whisperer - United States

Today, it seems to have got to the point where I take fleas off my cat so often that I now have dreams about finding the biggest and most perfect flea. FML

Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall, my mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked: 'TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK'. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42360) - you deserved it (3817)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:06am - kids - by Ohgodmother (man) - Australia (Tasmania)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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