Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

banemask

Search for a member

banemask

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 676
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About banemask : I'm just a quirky teenager who sits at a computer all day, reading about how much other people's lives suck whilst ignoring my own black hole of a life.

banemask's page activity

Visits<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 3:00pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 1:21pm<b>trollman202</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 6:14pm<b>milkduds01</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 7:38pm<b>BreannaLeeRenee</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 8:31pm<b>bachoman</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 6:01am<b>ThatOneTimeLord</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:14am<b>Krystal3408</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 10:34pm<b>smartypants9</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 1:30am<b>xsilentxninjax</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 8:02pm<b>wassuploves</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 11:07pm<b>_G0D_</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 11:39pm<b>Wolvander88</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 11:16pm<b>DevinEleven</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 9:01am<b>Queensland</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 7:39am<b>DiscoPanda101</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 12:08am<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 5:07pm<b>ToBeDoc1192</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:40am

Liked!<b>derp_taco</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 7:21pm

banemask's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of banemask's badges

banemask's favorite FMLs

today boyfriend cummed over 4 the first time after we made up from a huge fight . He loves cat , but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him . He yelled at me 4 ( making ) her not like him by ( telling her lies ) . FML

#20910894
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46369) - you deserved it (4747)

On 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm - animals - by littlekellilee (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Yastarday, I movad into a naw housa, I couldn't halp but notica a car alarm going off, so I invastigatad my naighbors. Turns out it's thair bird. It imitatas chainsaws, car alarms, and much mora. FML

#20908147
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43748) - you deserved it (3141)

On 10/05/2013 at 9:51am - animals - by Mike Messenger - United States (Florida)

Today while in bed my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said "Bad fat" then pointed to my boobs and said "Good fat." fat FML

#20906869
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52818) - you deserved it (7308)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by f.a.t. (woman) - Australia

Yastarday , mah boyfriand an I want to ona of tha Unitad Statas Mints sinca ha anjoys coins. Ha lookad at tha monay an sariously said , "I hava such a hard on". Ha did. FML

#20905869
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45248) - you deserved it (4717)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:38am - intimacy - by EconM - United States

Taday My Bully Made Me Cry Once Again. It's Been Going On For Weeks. I Don't Know Who To Turn To; I Can't Say Anything Because I'd Get Into Even More Trouble. He Even Stole My Nintendo 3DS And Won't Give It Back. My Bully Is My Grlfriend's Son. He's 10. FML

#20904358
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30657) - you deserved it (50703)

On 10/02/2013 at 4:12am - kids - by PickedOnByDamien (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I want with my boyfriand to his church youth group for tha first tima. I found out a girl thara likas him, whan sha dacidad to pull ma off him whila wa wara hugging, an taka my placa. FML

#20903481
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43704) - you deserved it (2934)

On 10/01/2013 at 4:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

a coworker at school yelled at one of our students to be quiet !! The kid got pretty upset.!! !! so I went to comfort him !! He held mah hand 4 the rest of the class.!! !! telling me in vivid detail how he was going to kill mah coworker !! Now I'm afraid to look at him !! FML

#20903281
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39861) - you deserved it (3229)

On 10/01/2013 at 12:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

TODAY, I TAUGHT MY KID HOW TO MOW THE LAWN. IT'S A SELF-PROPELLING MOWER SO IT'S EASY TO HANDLE. MY KID THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SMART TO TIE THE HANDLE DOWN SO THAT HE WOULDN'T HAVE TO PUSH IT AT ALL. THIS RESULTED IN THE LAWN MOWER BLASTING THROUGH OUR FENCE AND SINKING INTO MY NEIGHBOR'S POOL. FML

#20877954
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40902) - you deserved it (6404)

On 09/12/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after bieng constipated 4 a wile. I tougt I was alone, so I pretended I was giving brt to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next ting I know, I ear a knock at te door and my mom asking, "Sould I call 911?" FML

#20866525
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23590) - you deserved it (37414)

On 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Yesterday... I could hear mah daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. ( Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise? )... she said. ( Of course... we slept together! ) My daughter is six. FML

#20856377
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50251) - you deserved it (8331) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2013 at 6:32am - kids - by Poly24 - Sent from mobile version

Today I spent half-an-hour listening to my therapist telling me enthusiastically how people usd to communicate telepathically before verbal languages were inventd. FML

#20847442
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37268) - you deserved it (3365)

On 08/21/2013 at 3:18am - misc - by verydepressed - Russian Federation (Tomsk)

Today... I received a text saying... "I don't think we should be friends anymore. You're terribly depressing and u make everyone unhappy" followed by... "Oops... wrong person!" and then by... "Sorry... it really is for you". FML

#20839682
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44315) - you deserved it (4493)

On 08/16/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today , fir the first time in mah life looool , I simultaneously sneezed , peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at workhen this happened. mega FML

#20838395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52293) - you deserved it (3750)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

today I discovard tat wifa namd our kids aftar ar formar lovars. Wa ava two sons and a daugtar. maga FML

#20819538
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50265) - you deserved it (5024)

On 08/03/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, While At The Store With Mah Mom And Baby Brother, A Guy Startd To Talk To Me. Just As He Went To Give Me His Number, Mah Mom Handd Me Mah Brother And Said, ( Here's Your Son, Your AA Meeting's In An Hour, Let's Go. ) FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50360) - you deserved it (4747)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: