About banemask : I'm just a quirky teenager who sits at a computer all day, reading about how much other people's lives suck whilst ignoring my own black hole of a life.
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banemask's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML
by littlekellilee / 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Animals
by Mike Messenger / 10/05/2013 at 9:51am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by f.a.t. / 10/04/2013 at 4:20am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by EconM / 10/03/2013 at 11:38am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my bully made me cry once again. It's been going on for weeks. I don't know who to turn to; I can't say anything because I'd get into even more trouble. He even stole my Nintendo 3DS and won't give it back. My bully is my girlfriend's son. He's 10. FML
by PickedOnByDamien / 10/02/2013 at 4:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/01/2013 at 4:25pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love
Today, a coworker at school yelled at one of our students to be quiet. The kid got pretty upset, so I went to comfort him. He held my hand for the rest of the class, telling me in vivid detail how he was going to kill my coworker. Now I'm afraid to look at him. FML
by Anonymous / 10/01/2013 at 12:36pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2013 at 1:18am / United States / Kids
Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
by ugh / 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by verydepressed / 08/21/2013 at 3:18am / Russian Federation (Tomsk) / Miscellaneous
Today, I received a text saying, "I don't think we should be friends anymore. You're terribly depressing and you make everyone unhappy" followed by, "Oops, wrong person!" and then by, "Sorry, it really is for you". FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 12:24am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by bglenney / 08/15/2013 at 5:47am / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/03/2013 at 11:29pm / United States (Delaware) / Love
Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…