Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

banemask

Search for a member

banemask

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 452
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About banemask : I'm just a quirky teenager who sits at a computer all day, reading about how much other people's lives suck whilst ignoring my own black hole of a life.

banemask's page activity

Visits<b>trollman202</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 6:14pm<b>milkduds01</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 7:38pm<b>BreannaLeeRenee</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 8:31pm<b>bachoman</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 6:01am<b>ThatOneTimeLord</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:14am<b>Krystal3408</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 10:34pm<b>smartypants9</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 1:30am<b>xsilentxninjax</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 8:02pm<b>wassuploves</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 11:07pm<b>_G0D_</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 11:39pm<b>Wolvander88</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 11:16pm<b>DevinEleven</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 9:01am<b>Queensland</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 7:39am<b>DiscoPanda101</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 12:08am<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 5:07pm<b>ToBeDoc1192</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:40am<b>DFresh503</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:07am<b>Trish01</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 10:00am

banemask's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of banemask's badges

banemask's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML

#20910894
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44983) - you deserved it (4603)

On 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm - animals - by littlekellilee (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

#20908147
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42834) - you deserved it (3054)

On 10/05/2013 at 9:51am - animals - by Mike Messenger - United States (Florida)

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

#20906869
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51909) - you deserved it (7212)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by f.a.t. (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML

#20905869
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45099) - you deserved it (4702)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:38am - intimacy - by EconM - United States

Today, my bully made me cry once again. It's been going on for weeks. I don't know who to turn to; I can't say anything because I'd get into even more trouble. He even stole my Nintendo 3DS and won't give it back. My bully is my girlfriend's son. He's 10. FML

#20904358
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29961) - you deserved it (49736)

On 10/02/2013 at 4:12am - kids - by PickedOnByDamien (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went with my boyfriend to his church youth group for the first time. I found out a girl there likes him, when she decided to pull me off him while we were hugging, and take my place. FML

#20903481
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43596) - you deserved it (2926)

On 10/01/2013 at 4:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a coworker at school yelled at one of our students to be quiet. The kid got pretty upset, so I went to comfort him. He held my hand for the rest of the class, telling me in vivid detail how he was going to kill my coworker. Now I'm afraid to look at him. FML

#20903281
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39749) - you deserved it (3218)

On 10/01/2013 at 12:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML

#20877954
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40789) - you deserved it (6394)

On 09/12/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

#20866525
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23133) - you deserved it (36610)

On 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

#20856377
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48568) - you deserved it (8072) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2013 at 6:32am - kids - by Poly24 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent half-an-hour listening to my therapist telling me enthusiastically how people used to communicate telepathically before verbal languages were invented. FML

#20847442
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36327) - you deserved it (3275)

On 08/21/2013 at 3:18am - misc - by verydepressed - Russian Federation (Tomsk)

Today, I received a text saying, "I don't think we should be friends anymore. You're terribly depressing and you make everyone unhappy" followed by, "Oops, wrong person!" and then by, "Sorry, it really is for you". FML

#20839682
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42775) - you deserved it (4339)

On 08/16/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

#20838395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52164) - you deserved it (3740)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my wife named our kids after her former lovers. We have two sons and a daughter. FML

#20819538
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48662) - you deserved it (4865)

On 08/03/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50176) - you deserved it (4728)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML's Thanksgiving Special: TGS
  • As many of us know through popular culture, today is Thanksgiving in the US. Come on, we’ve all seen a TV show involving a Thanksgiving dinner or plans to do so that have gone awry due to one of the main…

Wednesday 26 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: