About bandeek : Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All.
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bandeek's favorite FMLs
Today, my dad mentioned how quickly I go through batteries. I've been single and celibate since I moved back home 11 months ago. He doesn't realize this and keeps asking about "missing" batteries. FML
by thundermoo / 05/27/2016 at 12:13pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by now afraid... / 04/03/2016 at 1:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Brayden / 01/09/2016 at 10:27pm / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
Today, I spent six hours at the ER. Why? My husband dared our seventeen-year-old son to recreate a 'Jackass' trolley-hedge diving stunt at the local supermarket. What wasn't on my groceries list was a broken arm, fractured wrist, whiplash and cuts and bruises. FML
by Anonymous / 07/30/2014 at 4:21am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Kids
Today, I was at the beach with a group of friends, including the guy I like. As soon as we got to the beach, I ran toward the water and he chased after me. It was a beautiful moment until I looked back at him, tripped, fell on my face and slid down the beach. FML
by anonymous / 07/29/2014 at 10:36pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by fatty magoo / 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 07/29/2014 at 2:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by rejected / 07/28/2014 at 6:09pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow for Black Friday, because he's convinced that my martial arts classes will come in handy when people "inevitably" try to beat the shit out of us in the rush for cheap stuff. FML
by fuck me / 11/28/2013 at 2:13pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by kittyboo_is_me / 11/19/2013 at 1:59am / Slovenia (Maribor) / Animals
Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML
by crixon42 / 11/18/2013 at 6:39pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Haberdashing / 11/13/2013 at 3:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML
by and she blames me -_- / 10/13/2013 at 5:50pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money
by Anon / 04/22/2013 at 3:19am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML
by fnfantastic / 11/04/2012 at 11:37am / United States (Indiana) / Money
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock… Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over…