balls_so_hard69

Search for a member

balls_so_hard69

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Al Sharjah, United Arab Emirates
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 March 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 192
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

balls_so_hard69's page activity

Visits<b>Kiavie</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 2:41pm<b>guitardedmetal</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 6:18am<b>mcclive</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 6:05am<b>nikolas345</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 5:38am<b>pantsman66</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 3:14am<b>ajax_united</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 11:55pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 11:08pm<b>annalily5</b> - the 12/02/2012 at 11:45pm

balls_so_hard69's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of balls_so_hard69's badges

balls_so_hard69's favorite FMLs

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

by aelia_oups / 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

by Read The Fine Print / 11/24/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

by wow babe / 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML

by hiccups / 11/03/2012 at 11:52am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

by Obi1Shinobi / 10/30/2012 at 10:27am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

by Lunazel93 / 10/22/2012 at 12:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

by Lunazel93 / 10/22/2012 at 12:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

by anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 1:53am / United States / Kids

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

by Skidmark Sally / 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm / United States (New Mexico) / Kids

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2009 at 4:20am / Japan / Transportation

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

by Litterbox / 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm / United States (Texas) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.