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bailemat's favorite FMLs
by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by Sleepy head / 10/06/2013 at 9:34pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I found out someone has a crush on me. Normally I'd be fine with this, if it weren't for that fact that this guy informed me that he has collected pictures of me since the third grade. I'm turning 23 in two weeks. FML
by Suunflower_14 / 08/26/2013 at 5:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML
by Anonymous / 08/06/2013 at 11:19am / United States (Arkansas) / Kids
Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML
by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by ... cheers / 07/16/2013 at 4:32pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Love
Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 10:24am / United States / Intimacy
by o_O / 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by accountnamevalid / 06/20/2013 at 10:23pm / United States / Transportation
by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML
by Anonymous / 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm / Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla) / Intimacy
by SteroidPenguin / 05/18/2013 at 6:33pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Screwed Up / 05/09/2013 at 1:30am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 05/06/2013 at 4:35am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…