This member hasn't filled in the description.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36199) - you deserved it (2250)
On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)
Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41492) - you deserved it (1957)
On 03/23/2013 at 7:43am - animals - by Hurrikhan - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34170) - you deserved it (16281)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29331) - you deserved it (4775)
On 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm - intimacy - by besviken (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)
Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13090) - you deserved it (3814)
On 10/21/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18838) - you deserved it (4574)
On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States
Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29825) - you deserved it (1467)
On 10/10/2012 at 11:36pm - animals - by AdamwithanA (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9523) - you deserved it (15787)
On 10/05/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by OhMeGerd (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11620) - you deserved it (23259)
On 10/03/2012 at 9:47am - misc - by lonerboner (woman) - United States
Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15425) - you deserved it (1654)
On 10/01/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19742) - you deserved it (3399)
On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11131) - you deserved it (19303)
On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States
Today, my house caught on fire. The firefighters said that it was caused by a lit cigarette on the carpet. I don't smoke, but apparently my 13 year old son does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24977) - you deserved it (2353)
On 03/29/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by no one - United States (Texas)
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26097) - you deserved it (4336)
On 09/15/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Scott - United States (California)
Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5941) - you deserved it (44666)
On 01/24/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by moxy -
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
