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bagofootball75

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bagofootball75

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bagofootball75's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

#15903380
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33184) - you deserved it (9555)

On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19277) - you deserved it (65873)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had to say a deep sincere speech on assembly in front of the whole college on the recent floods in Queensland. Instead of saying "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked down, we get back up" I stumbled and said "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked up..." FML

#14955140
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24134) - you deserved it (4914)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:00am - misc - by knockedup (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML

#14741730
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36965) - you deserved it (8167)

On 01/28/2011 at 9:25am - kids - by duckthehack (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)

Today, I put my old kitchen table at the end of my driveway with a free sign on it. Later, I saw my neighbor drag it to his yard with a $50 for sale sign on it. It's now gone. FML

#14255221
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10982) - you deserved it (31889)

On 12/19/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by synyster505 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a telemarketer found me so weird that he hung up on me. FML

#13861798
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22404) - you deserved it (7926)

On 11/16/2010 at 3:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300 pound man walked out, shook his head, and said "I'm sorry" to me. FML

#13675906
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32429) - you deserved it (3135)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm - misc - by mr_p - United States (Illinois)

Today, at Burger King, I had to go to the bathroom. Two ketchup packets were under the seat and exploded on my legs and pants when I sat down. FML

#13558964
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29869) - you deserved it (5597)

On 10/23/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I made a mistake at work that got 7 people fired. I'm scared to leave the office because they're all outside. FML

#12740190
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14647) - you deserved it (62876)

On 08/25/2010 at 3:13pm - work - by Joel - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend's mom and dad walked in on us while we were playing naked twister. FML

#12476862
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18979) - you deserved it (31230)

On 08/12/2010 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by FML (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30633) - you deserved it (4365)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML

#7319771
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35365) - you deserved it (4438)

On 01/13/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by boundandgagged (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother informed me that I am not allowed to drive in snow. I live in Minnesota. FML

#6958712
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24658) - you deserved it (2512)

On 12/26/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by Snow (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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