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badwolf0910

Offline (the 10/26/2014 at 12:40am) | Search for a member

badwolf0910

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  • Number of visits : 127
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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badwolf0910's FML badges

50 favourites

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Consolation prize

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Mobility

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badwolf0910's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39925) - you deserved it (5622)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML

#21216984
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36852) - you deserved it (23789)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:55am - intimacy - by teegtwo (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML

#21216856
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41015) - you deserved it (5187)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:46pm - misc - by Oldhouse (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went surfing, got a few rides, then realized I had my phone in my pocket. FML

#21216262
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36911) - you deserved it (23140)

On 07/21/2014 at 1:14pm - misc - by surfer - United States (New York)

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML

#21198798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49197) - you deserved it (4476)

On 07/04/2014 at 7:17pm - work - by zl5 (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML

#21198731
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41521) - you deserved it (6687)

On 07/04/2014 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML

#21197391
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44220) - you deserved it (8092)

On 07/03/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by blood buddies - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home from vacation, only to find my neighbours relaxing on my patio, and their kids swimming in my pool. FML

#21197297
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48737) - you deserved it (4145)

On 07/03/2014 at 12:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML

Today, I had to explain what "cashback" was to a customer. She called me a liar and wanted to talk to a manager because she felt I made up the concept. I'm the manager. She wouldn't believe me and waited in the store for an hour. Apparently this is what a Masters degree gets me. FML

#21194527
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46882) - you deserved it (4135)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:26am - work - by where do they come from - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59894) - you deserved it (4621)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML

#21189397
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56317) - you deserved it (3000)

On 06/26/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Alex - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

#21187944
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46793) - you deserved it (12201)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, at my sister's wedding, I went to the very back of the crowd of women waiting to catch the bouquet. Not only did I end up catching it, I was accosted by a crazy chick who ripped it out of my hands, screaming at me in Italian. I later found out she was already engaged. FML

#21187114
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40302) - you deserved it (3458)

On 06/24/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by sadbuttrue. (woman) - United States (California)



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