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badluckdawson's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/06/2013 at 3:45am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Money
by Anonymous / 07/06/2013 at 3:11am / United States (California) / Transportation
by anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 5:08pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
by confusedandnowsingle / 06/28/2013 at 8:23am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Love
by Selina / 06/22/2013 at 6:59pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML
by me / 06/22/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML
by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm / United States / Health
Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML
by our kids will be derps / 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by talktothefacecausethehandswanking / 06/22/2013 at 2:54pm / Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Love
Today, it marks the fourth month since my 15-year-old cousin asked me out, then started practically stalking me when I said no. It's also the fourth month of my parents and his constantly telling me to stop overreacting and that it's "just a phase." FML
by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 10:00am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend used the "this isn't working, we need to talk" line on me. How nice of him to wait this long to do so, just days after we returned from the expensive Caribbean holiday that I paid for. FML
by sadpoorlady / 06/22/2013 at 5:22am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Holidays
by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 3:31am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
by no name / 06/22/2013 at 3:20am / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML
by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 1:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML
by assholedad / 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm / United States (Ohio) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you… Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one…