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badjujitsu

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badjujitsu
  • Town/Country : seattle, usa
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2387
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About badjujitsu : aikido jiujitsu and mr fixit

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Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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badjujitsu's favorite FMLs

Today, my marriage counselor got divorced. FML

#16725425
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34696) - you deserved it (3401)

On 06/18/2011 at 4:51am - love - by screwed - United States

Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML

#16722873
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47355) - you deserved it (3174) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/18/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Inconnu - France

Today, I went to sell my wedding rings, due to the fact that I'm getting divorced from a man who cheated on me. The jeweler informed me that the stone in my engagement ring is fake. I won't even be able to cover the divorce costs from the proceeds. FML

#16702433
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33692) - you deserved it (4735)

On 06/16/2011 at 10:17pm - money - by pookie99 - United States (Colorado)

Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML

#16701794
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8430) - you deserved it (41643)

On 06/16/2011 at 9:39pm - health - by Hopslammer (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I met my soon-to-be step mother. My dad was right, we had a lot in common. Including our birth year. FML

#16589535
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49468) - you deserved it (3522)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:17am - misc - by stepsister - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46326) - you deserved it (7241)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, on my way home from work, I decided to bring my pregnant wife a bouquet of roses to surprise her. Her response? "Why didn't you get me something useful, like chicken wings, instead?" FML

#16583514
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37477) - you deserved it (9242)

On 06/09/2011 at 7:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after being laid off for over a year, I got turned down for an unpaid internship. I can't even get people to let me work for free. FML

#16561616
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27624) - you deserved it (2952)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML

#16531182
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46983) - you deserved it (3473)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:00pm - misc - by Danielle - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML

#16508942
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60526) - you deserved it (3538)

On 06/05/2011 at 1:17am - love - by dumped - United States (Utah)

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

#16494046
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41977) - you deserved it (3131)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a phone call from my old boss asking me why I wasn't at work, to which I responded, "Because you fired me yesterday". He didn't say anything, and hung up. FML

#16480266
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31531) - you deserved it (2254)

On 06/03/2011 at 5:57am - work - by xmeatballx21 - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my boss's cat died. I'm expected to attend the service. FML

#16477855
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29592) - you deserved it (3873)

On 06/03/2011 at 12:47am - work - by whymyliferose - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

#16474078
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40116) - you deserved it (2868)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML

#16473954
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25820) - you deserved it (3181)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:01pm - love - by nikto (man) -



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