badjujitsu

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Offline (the 06/21/2014 at 11:04pm)

badjujitsu

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 5224
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About badjujitsu : aikido jiujitsu and mr fixit

badjujitsu's page activity

Visits<b>PostMortem</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 4:28am<b>petrolhead</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:37am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 12:29am<b>frenchygirl95</b> - the 01/29/2013 at 11:23am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 4:15pm<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 09/29/2012 at 1:51pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/27/2012 at 1:05am<b>izwizzz</b> - the 09/29/2011 at 2:53pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:26pm<b>Brittni_97</b> - the 07/15/2011 at 7:36pm<b>BlackBelt4Me</b> - the 07/07/2011 at 11:43pm<b>LittleMexico</b> - the 07/06/2011 at 12:01am<b>smartalek</b> - the 06/16/2011 at 12:05am<b>nchotgal</b> - the 03/02/2011 at 1:24pm<b>ObWanCanBlowME</b> - the 03/01/2011 at 5:01pm<b>ilovejunkfood</b> - the 02/26/2011 at 3:25pm<b>Gubiithefish</b> - the 02/24/2011 at 5:45pm<b>HappinessForFree</b> - the 02/10/2011 at 12:21am

badjujitsu's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of badjujitsu's badges

badjujitsu's favorite FMLs

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

by SoupCanoe / 08/29/2011 at 4:33am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Health

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

by cjay2200 / 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Kids

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I found out that instead of being stationed in Afghanistan, my husband of 9 years has been "stationed" at his other girlfriend's house. FML

by AlwaysGottaFML / 08/20/2011 at 3:26am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

by W1D0 / 08/20/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, my religious parents were hosting a family dinner. Not only did we have to wait over an hour for my grandma to finally show up, but when she did, she had her 30 year old boytoy in tow. Apparently, "Granny has needs too you know, hahaha!" Goodbye peaceful family. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2011 at 4:21pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Love

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

by Zoe Avila / 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm / United States / Animals

Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML

by iliketoastalot / 08/09/2011 at 1:38pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. She took everything, including the kidney I gave her a year ago. FML

by aliixmaee / 08/09/2011 at 10:50am / United States / Love

Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML

by OyGeeze28 / 08/09/2011 at 2:24am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, while watching tv at my mother's house, a tornado warning came across the screen. After being in the dark nasty basement for half an hour, my mom realizes she was watching a recorded show, and that tornado warning was for 2 weeks ago. FML

by cargaljen / 08/07/2011 at 1:29am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

by FML! / 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my mom picked up my dog from the groomers. I came home to find a small female terrier on our couch. My dog is a full grown male maltese. What's worse is that it took me a full 20 minutes to convince my mom that she had picked up the wrong dog. FML

by Username / 08/06/2011 at 3:09am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my parents woke me up at 4 am and informed me of their impending divorce. They then woke me up again three hours later and told me "never mind". This same routine happens several times a month. FML

by iloveryanhiga / 08/05/2011 at 5:27am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I arrived in Africa to start my new job. I agreed to come to a city with little to no electricity, and poor water for triple the money I was making in Canada. I just realized my boss and I negotiated in two completely different currencies, and I'm now making half of what I used to. FML

by Depressed / 08/04/2011 at 7:45am / Sudan / Work