Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

badjujitsu

Offline (the 06/21/2014 at 11:04pm) | Search for a member

badjujitsu

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3174
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About badjujitsu : aikido jiujitsu and mr fixit

badjujitsu's page activity

Visits<b>petrolhead</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:37am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 12:29am<b>frenchygirl95</b> - the 01/29/2013 at 11:23am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 4:15pm<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 09/29/2012 at 1:51pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/27/2012 at 1:05am<b>izwizzz</b> - the 09/29/2011 at 2:53pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:26pm<b>Brittni_97</b> - the 07/15/2011 at 7:36pm<b>BlackBelt4Me</b> - the 07/07/2011 at 11:43pm<b>LittleMexico</b> - the 07/06/2011 at 12:01am<b>smartalek</b> - the 06/16/2011 at 12:05am<b>nchotgal</b> - the 03/02/2011 at 1:24pm<b>ObWanCanBlowME</b> - the 03/01/2011 at 5:01pm<b>ilovejunkfood</b> - the 02/26/2011 at 3:25pm<b>Gubiithefish</b> - the 02/24/2011 at 5:45pm<b>HappinessForFree</b> - the 02/10/2011 at 12:21am<b>Killa_Comin</b> - the 01/31/2011 at 3:10pm

badjujitsu's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of badjujitsu's badges

badjujitsu's favorite FMLs

Today, after almost four years of having avoided her due to her hatred of my husband, my mother invited us both to a family dinner. My husband wanted to give her another chance, so we went. Less than an hour after arriving, I caught her hocking a loogie and spitting it into our food. FML

#20182910
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24960) - you deserved it (1567)

On 11/28/2012 at 6:04pm - love - by some things never change (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband quit his job as a university professor and picked up the graveyard shift at a rat farm so he could have more time during the day to play World of Warcraft. FML

#20182185
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30799) - you deserved it (2856)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

#20179890
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29617) - you deserved it (3398)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I took a pregnancy test. When I saw that the result was positive, I started crying and showed my mom. She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test. FML

#20177960
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8483) - you deserved it (32496)

On 11/25/2012 at 10:08am - health - by I'm stupid - United States (Illinois)

Today, my step-mom threw out some of the "boxes of junk" in my room, because apparently, I'm a pack rat. I guess she and everyone else in my family won't be receiving those Christmas presents. FML

#20177886
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28732) - you deserved it (1525)

On 11/25/2012 at 8:28am - money - by WritingWrongs - United States

Today, I ran into an old friend, and she remarked how she couldn't believe we hadn't seen each other in a year. Except not only did I attend her baby shower a few weeks ago, I spent hundreds of dollars on a unique gift. FML

#20174439
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23182) - you deserved it (2375)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML

#20174308
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31976) - you deserved it (8119)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by Janitoro (man) - United States

Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML

#20165918
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31167) - you deserved it (2453)

On 11/16/2012 at 9:00pm - love - by akiza (woman) - Japan

Today, my English professor accused me of plagiarizing a poem I submitted, because she'd read it online earlier that day. The poem was mine; I posted it after writing it for her class, and even after logging into the site to prove it, she reported me to the school. FML

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

#20161591
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24987) - you deserved it (2505)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:02am - love - by Med (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

#20160628
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38884) - you deserved it (2706)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

#20160279
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31779) - you deserved it (5872)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

#20157197
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29107) - you deserved it (2597)

On 11/10/2012 at 5:15am - love - by Helen - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. My previous one stopped working, because apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to suck up our puppy's shit from the floor. FML

#20155036
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21295) - you deserved it (2066)

On 11/08/2012 at 2:03pm - love - by 99Problemsandfml - Canada (Ontario)

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

#20142866
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24182) - you deserved it (4301) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: